Verek (Savage Kings MC - South Carolina #3) - Lane Hart Page 0,39
and Roman, who are getting hitched tomorrow.
They can say not to worry about it all they want, but I can’t let Roman keep me up for the rest of my life. Eventually I’m going to have to get back out there and try to have a normal life.
A lonely life, but normal hopefully.
It seems like everyone around me is moving forward. Charlotte and Roman are getting married, Winston and Zoe have a baby on the way, and here I am, feeling like I’m frozen in place, waiting for…something.
Someone.
Verek.
That son of a bitch!
I knew he was going to leave town, but I thought he would at least call or text me occasionally to check in.
He’s been gone for six months without a word after finally awakening something in me that I thought was gone forever.
I’m still pretty pissed at Roman for going off on Verek, but I’ve tried to be cordial and polite while living in his house after all he did for me – paying for those two months at the psychiatric facility and letting me move in, then getting me this great apartment.
As if sensing my anger, Lola, my new black Lab, a trained support companion, comes over and puts her chin on my knee, her big brown eyes appraising me. I give her a rub, scratching her ears which of course puts a smile on my face. It really has helped these last few days, having her near me.
I’ve been sleeping better these past months, having fewer nightmares, not that my psychiatrist knows exactly why those have faded. I’m still not sure how I’ll do sleeping alone here tomorrow night for the first time.
For the past two nights, much to Roman’s displeasure, Charlotte has been sleeping over to help me get acclimated to the new place, and tonight she’s staying because the bride isn’t supposed to see the groom before the wedding.
“She really helps, doesn’t she?” Charlotte asks when she comes to sit next to me on the sofa.
“She does,” I agree as I pat the sofa cushion between us for Lola to jump up. She does right away, spinning in a quick circle before she collapses and places her head in my lap.
“Such a sweet girl,” Charlotte coos as she rubs her back.
Since it’s been several days since the last time I inquired, I try to sound casual when I ask, “So, um, has Roman heard anything from Verek lately?”
“Nope, still not a word as far as I know.”
“Well, have you asked him?”
“Of course I have!” she replies. “He hasn’t called or texted you either?”
“No.”
“What about Paul?” she questions which is also the typical way that this conversation usually goes.
“Yes, he’s still calling and texting.”
“Every day?” she asks with a smile.
“Unfortunately, yes,” I mutter.
“That’s a good thing, though!” Charlotte exclaims. “Why are you thinking about the man you haven’t heard from when the sweet, wonderful, devoted man you love doesn’t let a day go by without seeing how you’re doing?”
“Because…it’s not the same,” I tell her for the millionth time.
“Paul would never let anything happen to you,” she says softly.
“That’s not why I can’t be with him, and you know it.”
“Right, you’ve convinced yourself that you can never rekindle the flames of desire with Paul,” Charlotte grumbles.
“I don’t think I can.” Not when there wasn’t any passion there in the first place.
“Maybe it’s just going to take more time before you’re able to…rekindle with anyone! Have you considered that notion?” she asks.
I never told Charlotte what happened between me and Verek while we were gone those few days. If I tell her the truth, hopefully she’ll back off and stop pushing Paul at me every other day.
“There was definitely some…rekindling with Verek,” I finally admit to her, using her word since I’m not sure there’s one better.
“What? When?”
“While we were traveling together,” I respond.
“You and Verek?” she asks, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“We didn’t have sex, but we did some other things…”
“Like what?” she whispers, turning to face me on the sofa.
“I may have got into the shower with him and gave him a hand…”
“You did?” Charlotte replies with a smile. “Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it was just once. We kissed, a few times, but nothing else happened. But it could have, if he hadn’t left!”
“Why didn’t you tell Roman? He might have gone easier on Verek,” she says.
“I don’t want to talk about this sort of thing with Roman!”
“Well, he probably wouldn’t have changed his mind about how angry he was anyway,” Charlotte