Verek (Savage Kings MC - South Carolina #3) - Lane Hart Page 0,35

you have any idea what my life is like? I sleep just fine, Strawberry, usually with several men coming and going through my bed.”

“That’s-that’s none of my business,” I remark and start to walk backward. I want to leave, but I’m not able to back away before I blurt out, “How do you do that exactly?”

“Do what?” Sandy asks, frowning at me.

“Sleep with men?” I whisper.

“Just say it! You mean fuck them for money?”

I shake my head. “No, I just mean, how do you let them touch you and…fuck you without freaking out, remembering what they did to us?”

“Oh. Well, avoiding sex with men is harder than just going through with it,” she mutters.

“It is?” I ask in confusion. “I’m sorry to put you on the spot. It’s just, there’s this man who I care about, and I’m able to touch him, but I don’t know if I can let him inside me…”

“Were you a prude before you were raped or just after?” she asks, causing my jaw to drop. “I’m being serious.”

“I wasn’t a prude, but I had only been with three men in my entire life. The one I was with at the time was my fiancé. Now there’s this other man…”

“Chill out. It’s really easy, Strawberry. Just close your eyes, use lots of lube, then lie back and pretend you’re somewhere else. Before you know it, it’s over and done.”

“But…but I want to be there, with him, not zone out.”

“Then I don’t know what to tell you. Pretending it’s not happening is how I get through it every time. It’s how I survived three weeks in that goddamn storage facility with those sick sons of bitches coming and going all day and night.”

“You were there for three weeks?” I exclaim in horror. “After one day I thought I was going to die.”

“Guess I’m used to enduring shit I don’t like. I’ve gotten good at disappearing during sex, at least mentally. Not like men care as long as they get theirs.”

“Right,” I agree. I could probably suck it up and do that with Paul if I had to, but with Verek, I want him and would want to be there with him every second he’s inside of me.

“Look, Strawberry, if you’re not ready to fuck him, just stick with oral. He won’t care as long as he’s getting his dick sucked on the regular. And what woman doesn’t love having a man go down on her? He can’t hurt your delicate little pussy when he’s just licking it.”

“That’s…a good point,” I agree. “Thanks for talking to me about this, Sandy,” I tell her. This isn’t something I can easily talk to Charlotte about.

“You’re welcome,” she says gruffly before she starts to shut her door. “And, ah, thanks for letting me know the sick bastards are dead.”

“You’re welcome,” I say with a smile. “Take care of yourself, Sandy.”

Chapter Sixteen

Verek

* * *

Six months later…

* * *

For months now I’ve been living in Miami, Florida, where the nightlife is always thriving, even in the fall and winter.

I’ve been working as a bouncer, bartender, and everything in-between trying to make enough cash to keep paying rent for my tiny apartment here and my town house in Myrtle Beach without dipping into my savings account. All while waiting not so patiently to get a call, telling me I can finally come home.

There are women everywhere, but I haven’t touched a single one of them. The only face I want to see when I look at them is Tessa’s.

I haven’t called her or sent a single message since the night I left town, and not just because Roman told me not to. Part of me, the guilty part that feels responsible for her kidnapping, thinks he could be right. While I’ve been gone, Tessa could have remarried Paul or at least gotten back together with him. I can’t and won’t ever forget about her, but I hope she’s forgotten about me. She’ll be better off if so.

The Paul guy seems…decent, what little I saw of him. He would love Tessa and care for her, be loyal to her, while I’m not sure I could ever deserve her after what I did that night. I shouldn’t have pushed her when I knew she was engaged and about to be married.

I’m not sure how she could forgive me for that night when I can’t forgive myself. But since the beginning, she’s never mentioned it – the reason why she left the club without her friends in