didn’t matter, because it was to me. I was nothing like my father or brother. I could love someone wholly. Give myself to that relationship. You gave me Zane and he became my world. I’m good with that. I really am.”
She could break him so easily. Hell, how did one reply to that? He was as broken, as damaged as they came. He didn’t look it on the outside. He had brothers who appeared far more screwed-up than he did, but he was so far gone he had no business even considering a relationship. What the hell did he know about one? He’d gotten along with Breezy because she’d given him every little thing he’d wanted. The sex had been off the charts.
He should know, he’d been trained practically from the time he could remember, and the training had been brutal, but there wasn’t much he didn’t know how to control during sex with the exception of a natural erection. Those had been stamped out of him until Breezy. The sex hadn’t been about luring a victim and controlling them. With her, sex had been all about pleasure, something he hadn’t been able to achieve again without her. Not at all. No matter what he tried. He didn’t feel like he was swept away, consumed by another realm. That was all Breezy. That belonged to her.
“I’m glad you’re so good with that one year we had, Bree, because we’re going to have many more together. The three of us, you, Zane and me.”
She was already shaking her head and he ignored her protest. “We have a chance to make this right.”
“Steele, I’ve done a lot of reading, mostly because I know my childhood was shit. I wanted to make certain I was in a good place to raise Zane, so I read everything I could about traumatic childhoods and bad relationships. Not,” she added hastily when he glared at her, “that I think ours was bad. I told you, I was happy. But I wasn’t your partner. I was happy, but it wasn’t a healthy relationship. You have to admit that. You gave me the slightest wish and I knocked myself out fulfilling it.”
It was the truth. He couldn’t deny it. His breath caught in his lungs. No matter which way he came at her, there was always a refute. He forced himself to give her the respect he gave to his brothers. He listened, hearing her out when he wanted to form his protests. He knew she’d make sense. Breezy always made sense. When it came to the two of them, he didn’t. He didn’t care whether or not they made sense together. He needed her to survive. It was that simple, but he would listen.
“We set those patterns and they’re there whether we like it or not. I’m not that same person, Steele. I wouldn’t be happy with you dictating to me and you would never be happy with the new me. You need a ‘yes’ woman, one who would be happy living with you, doing whatever you asked. I don’t want to raise my son in the club life. I don’t want to be second to the club. I know what that’s like and I’m not going back there again. Those parties with all the drug deals and men doing whatever they wanted to the women. I can’t go there again. Never again. I’m different. I like who I am now.”
“We don’t do drug deals and we don’t hurt women. New patterns can be established, Bree,” he said. “We’ve been apart going on three years. That’s time enough to break those patterns. We’ll take time and get to know each other. You’re a pleaser, baby, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not. I’ll be more careful of making certain I’m not too demanding and that I see to the things you want and need to make you happy. I was without you those three years and believe, me, I know what I lost.”
She sighed. “You know you’re going to stay with your club. That’s a deal breaker.”
“It doesn’t have to be. You have to stick around anyway for protection. You can get to know the others and maybe you won’t feel the same.”
He could see on her face that she was very closed off to that possibility and his heart sank.
“Steele, honey, I don’t need saving. I’m fine now. Really. You can get on your Harley and ride off to save another damsel in