Velvet Midnight - Max Walker Page 0,15
at the dead of night? Or is this a special occasion?”
My heart raced as my vision adjusted to the dim lighting. Rex leaned against the island, a glass of water in his hand. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, which made my heart pound even harder. I thought I could make out the dark shape of a tattoo on his chest, underneath the hair, but I didn’t want to stare (or lose control and dive headfirst).
“Special occasion,” Rex said. He took a sip of his water and set the glass down, ice clinking together. “It’s my last night here.”
I reeled back a little, confused and surprised. “You didn’t say you were leaving.”
“I didn’t know I was until a few hours ago.”
I reached behind me and flipped the light switch. This had to be a joke, and I had to see Rex’s face to determine that. It took a minute for my eyes to stop shutting at the sudden light, but he didn’t seem like he was joking. His face seemed serious, set in the decision. His lips were turned down into a sad smirk.
My eyes flitted down. Only a moment, but fuck, now I could clearly see the tattoo on his chest, and I could see a clear trail of hair for me to kiss my way down, licking and sucking while he slipped out of those blue gym shorts. I wanted to rub him up and down, feeling that big body under my hands, tasting him and—
I turned the light back off.
“It was too bright,” I said. “So what happened?”
How was it that even with the lights off, Rex still had the brightest blue eyes under the sun?
“A lot happened,” Rex answered. Now he was the one dodging things. Was he paying me back for shutting the door on him earlier? I really did appreciate that moment, way more than I was able to put into words. Even though I could still remember the text he sent, ending any and all hope of us ever being together, I still felt a warmth fill me when I heard Rex’s voice on the other side of my door.
And now he’s leaving. Great. Just like old times.
“Where are you going?” I didn’t want to let up. Part of me felt a spark of something—anger? Confusion?
Fear?
Whatever it was, I wanted to keep feeling it. It had been so long…
“I’ve got a friend in Tampa—I can crash on her couch for a little. Lay low until this tape situation gets unfucked. Maybe while that happens, I’ll hit the books again. Reapplying to law school is on the table.”
“Really?” I said, wanting to smile and cry at the same time. I’d been such a blank slate of emotions that this sudden tug-of-war inside my chest made either one feel extreme.
“We’ll see. First priority is getting out of your hair.”
“Out of my hair? What’s that mean?”
“As in leaving your proxi—”
“Rex, I know what the phrase means. I’m asking why do you think you have to ‘get out of my hair’?”
“Because it’s obvious you don’t want me here, and I don’t think I blame you. I hate having these dreams of you smiling and then seeing you shut up in your bedroom all day, avoiding eye contact whenever you do come out. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or upset, so if I have to go, then I’m going to go.”
I turned the light back on.
“Whoa, whoa, okay, I don’t know where all this is coming from—”
“From the fact that this is the longest conversation we’ve had since I got here. I can tell there’s friction between us, and I fucking hate it.”
I huffed. “That’s true.” And then I put a hand on my face. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Rex. I’ve been going through it, all right, and none of ‘it’ has to do with you—” Not entirely true, but… “It’s more with me, and how defeated I’ve been feeling.”
“Defeated about what?”
A shrug was all I could really offer. I didn’t want to talk about it, not now. Maybe not ever. But definitely not now.
“Benj, talk to me. Forget about everything for a second and just be here, with me. Talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”
Nothing. I wanted to shout that I was feeling nothing, and that felt like the scariest thing in the entire world. Motivation ran out of me like a broken faucet, every day getting worse.
“I’m feeling… not great.” I didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t have the energy to. “But