The Vampires Assistant Page 0,16

his thumb and index finger.

I crouched down low and moaned.

"Ohhhh,"I groaned. "Wwwooohhhh."

The boy stiffened and looked over his shoulder nervously. He couldn't see me.

"Who's there?"he asked.

"Wraaarghhhh,"Evra grunted on the other side of him.

The boy's head spun around in the other direction.

"Who's there?"he shouted.

"Ohh-ohh-ohh,"I snorted, like a gorilla.

"I'm not afraid,"the boy said, edging backward. "You're just somebody playing a mean trick."

"Eee-ee-ee-ee-ee,"Evra screeched.

I shook a branch, Evra rattled a bush, then I tossed a stone into the area just ahead of the boy. His head was spinning around like a puppet's, darting all over the place. He didn't know whether it would be safer to run or stay.

"Look, I don't know who you are,"he began, "but I'm -"

Evra snuck up behind him and now, as the boy spoke, stuck out his extra-long tongue and ran it over the boy's neck, making a hissing snake noise.

That was enough for the boy. He screamed and ran for his life.

Evra and me ran after him, laughing our heads off, making all these noises. The boy fled through thorn bushes as though they weren't there, screaming for help.

We got tired after a few minutes and would have let him get away, but then he tripped and went sprawling into a patch of really high grass.

We stood, trying to spot him in the grass, but there was no sign of him.

"Where is he?"I asked.

"I can't see him,"Evra said.

"Do you think he's all right?"

"I don't know."Evra looked worried. "He might have fallen down a big hole or something."

"Kid?"I shouted. "Are you okay?"No answer. "You don't need to be afraid. We won't hurt you. We were only kidding. We didn't -"

There was a rustling noise behind us, then I felt a hand on my back, shoving me forward into the grass. Evra fell with me. When we sat up, spluttering with shock, we heard somebody laughing behind us.

We turned around slowly, and there was the kid, doubled over with laughter.

"I got you! I got you!"he sang. "I saw you coming from the beginning. I was only pretending to be frightened. I ambushed you. Ha-ha!"

He was making fun of us, and, though we felt pretty stupid, when we stood and looked at each other we burst out laughing. He'd led us into a patch of grass filled with sticky green seeds and we were covered in them from head to foot.

"You look like a walking plant,"I joked.

"You look like the Jolly Green Giant,"Evra replied.

"Both of you look stupid,"the boy said. We stared at him, and his smile faded a little. "Well, you do ,"he grumbled.

"I suppose you think this is funny,"I snarled. He nodded silently. "Well, I've got news for you,"I said, stepping closer, putting on the meanest face I could. I paused menacingly, then burst into a smile. "It is!"

He laughed happily, relieved that we could see the funny side of things, then stuck out his hands, one to each of us. "Hey,"he said as we shook. "My name's Sam Grest. Nice to meetcha."

"Hey, Sam,"I said, and as I shook his hand I thought to myself, "Looks like this is friend number two. Cool."

And Sam did become my friend. But by the time the Cirque Du Freak moved on, I was wishing with all my heart that I'd never even heard his name.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Sam lived about a mile away, with his mom and dad, two younger brothers and a baby sister, three dogs, five cats, a turtle, and a tank full of tropical fish.

"It's like living in Noah's ark,"he said. "I try to stay out of the house as much as possible. Mom and Dad don't mind. They think children should be free to express their individuality. As long as I come home for bed at night, they're happy. They don't even care if I miss school every once in a while. They think school's a despotic system of indoctrination, designed to crush the spirit and stamp out creativity."

Sam talked like that all the time. He was younger than me, but you wouldn't have known it by listening to him speak.

"So, you two guys are with the show?"he asked, rolling a piece of pickled onion around his mouth - he loved pickled onions and carried a small plastic jar of them with him. We'd returned to the spot at the edge of the clearing. Evra was lying in the grass, I was sitting on a low-hanging branch, and Sam was climbing the tree above me.

"What sort of a show is it?"he asked, before we could answer his first question.