"Because she knew we'd stay to protect her. And she... couldn't... stand..."
And then Cat lost it, broke down completely. He collapsed, folding into his own miserable dry sobs, and Felix didn't think he could stand it, Cherry Cat bawling, and even Davette, hearing that awful wrenching sound, pulled herself loose from Felix and returned to the couch and embraced him and the two of them shook and rocked together.
Felix sat down hard on the magazine-littered coffee table in front of the couch and fumbled around and found a cigarette and put it in his mouth and managed to light it and...
And he was too stunned, too shocked to do much else. Too blown to think. Numb and stupid and... Annabelle dead? Dead? Killed herself? He couldn't bear their tears but there was no place to go and Adam didn't look much better so he just sat there and stared at the hospital tiles under his feet.
I should feel relief, shouldn't I? I mean, I'm not going to die tonight, after all. I should feel relief.
Why don't I?
He started to take another puff and realized the cigarette had burned, unsmoked, down to the filter while he sat there numb and stupid and -
Waitaminute!
He caught Adam's eye and mouthed: Where's Jack?
But Adam only shook his head grimly.
What the hell...
Felix got up and went over to him and moved him down the wall away from the others.
"Give," he said tersely.
Adam shrugged, looked miserable.
"Jack's gone."
"Where?"
"We don't know. He... He just walked out when they told us."
Felix glared at him. "Did he say anything?"
Now the young priest looked about to cry.
"He said, 'I even managed to get her killed.' Then be just walked out."
Felix looked around. "Is he outside, then?"
Adam shook his head. "He took a cab. Felix?"
"Yeah?"
"He didn't look good."
"Like how?"
"Like... like crazy."
Great. Felix looked at the other two. They were still crying.
Great.
Davette had finally gotten Cat to go to sleep in the main bedroom of the hotel suite. His sullen silence on the way from the hospital had been almost as unnerving as his weeping. She had fallen asleep watching him, curled up on the edge of the bed. Adam lay dozing on the lounge beside the bed. Felix sat in a chair by the great picture window that overlooked the Galleria Shopping Mall. The ashtray beside him was full.
And the sunset was lovely.
Shit.
He looked at his watch. Five hours now. No sign of Jack. No call. No word. No clue.
He looked over at the sleeping trio. He didn't blame them. If anything, be envied them. He was tired, too. But he was more worried than anything else. He bad brought them to this hotel because it had been the place they were planning to go and because...
Because he didn't know what else to do.
No one had heard from Crow. He had called the hospital half a dozen times. He had called the bishop's - the late bishop's - office and home and church. He had called the Team's new house three' times without answer. Each time he had imagined the phone ringing in Carl's destroyed workshop.
He stood up slowly, thought about sneaking into the other room to try calling everyone again. But he knew better. Crow wasn't at any of those places. Not now and not later.
I even managed to get her killed.
And the sleeping three looked mighty small without him there.
They look like I feel, he thought, and sat back down and added to the ashtray and stared at the blasted sunset.
"Where's Jack?" came from behind him a moment later.
Felix turned and looked. It was Cat. He looked better. Still pale and drawn and.., hurting. But better. The sleep had done its deed.
"Where's Jack?" he repeated, sitting in the chair beside Felix's.
"I don't know," Felix replied.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean he's gone. He left from the hospital. No one's seen him since."
"But it's almost nighttime!"
"Yeah."
"I don't understand!"
Felix looked at him. I don't understand either, he felt like saying.
At least I hope I don't.
But he didn't say that. Instead, he gave Cat what little he knew from the beginning. When he told him what Adam had said Jack had said, he checked the other man's face closely for a reaction.
But there was none. Just the same confusion. And concern.
Davette and the priest, he noticed, were up and about once more. Listening.
"I was hoping," Felix said next, "that you might know something."
Cat frowned. "No. I've been sorta..."
Felix nodded. "Yeah. But you know Jack better than anyone. In