a two-dollar tip, finally freeing me to pick up my next fare. No one emerged from the house until Dexter called them on the telephone. The boy's aunt shunted him out to the cab, her sharp voice slicing through the night. She wore a bathrobe and a disinterested expression as she handed me exactly six crumpled one-dollar bills.
The boy climbed into the front seat and struggled loudly as he closed the heavy door. Upon meeting success, he dutifully buckled his seatbelt across his puny frame.
"Hey, mister," the young lad said after a bit, "can you turn on your inside light?"
For any driver, it would be a hazard to drive in the dark with the dome light on; for me it would also be painful. "Why?" I asked, as politely as possible.
"I wanna do mah homework." His voice was earnest, but not cloying.
"You were unable to do it before?"
He shook his head vigorously. "I was, but mah aunt got tired of me axing her for help, so she tol' me just watch tee-vee and quit buggin' her."
I turned on the dome light and watched furtively from the corner of my eye as the boy struggled over problems of mathematics. He seemed to have special difficulty adding six and eleven.
"Hey, mister," he said, the slightest tint of frustration in his voice, "can you help me with mah homework?"
"You have run out of fingers, have you not?"
"Yeah." He sounded sheepish to have had his dirty little secret exposed.
"I will show you a very special trick." The boy sat up very straight in his seat. "Adding six and eleven is no different than adding six and one."
"Don't dis me, man. That too easy."
"I am surely not 'dissing' you. You see, eleven is ten plus one, correct?"
"Yeah."
"Now, what is six plus one?"
"Seven," he chirped quickly.
"Seven plus ten?" He started using his fingers. "Do not use your fingers."
"Sorry, mister, but how'm I gonna figure it out?"
"How high can you count?"
"I can count to a hundred." He sounded quite proud of this achievement.
"Very good. Therefore, you should know that if you put a one to the left of a seven, that is seventeen and the correct answer to the problem you are trying to solve."
His jaw dropped. "Ohhhh! That's real easy."
"It is quite easy when you know how. Just remember that there is no reason to be intimidated by larger numbers because they are no different to deal with than smaller numbers. And do not use your fingers. Math is a skill that merely takes time to learn. It is a building block leading to bigger, better and more important things, but if you use your fingers, you will never really learn."
He nodded as he quickly completed the problems. Once he had put his assignment away, I flicked off the dome light.
"You sure talk funny, mister," the lad said, once complete was his homework.
"I might say the same about you." A smile spread across my face. The lad seemed bright. His hands were large, which told me he could grow into a big, strong fellow. But would he have a chance in this life, or would he end up like the other human refuse I have seen in big cities for as long as my memory has served?
The boy shook his head. "I don't talk funny. You talk funny."
"Where I come from, it would be you who talks funny."
"But you talk like 'the Count.'"
Most likely because I am the Count. "I beg your pardon?"
"Y'know. The Count. OnSesame Street . The Count." His voice changed to a bad, high-pitched Bela Lugosi. "'I love to count. Ah! Ah!'"
Ah, yes, the famous children's show on public television. So now, my people are being spoofed on a children's television show. How could we get more ubiquitous? Still, becoming that much of a caricature in the public's perception surely helps our efforts to camouflage our true nature, a fact that seemed quite relevant considering my current circumstances - this boy would not be scared of vampires; he would merely think of them as odd but friendly creatures, fashioned from foam rubber, their movement controlled by steel rods.
"I am fromHungary ," I replied.
"Say what?"
"That is where I am from. People there all talk like me, therefore, when inHungary ,you would be the one talking funny."
"Where's Hungry?" he asked, sincere curiosity on his face.
"Hungaryis inEastern Europe ."
"Is it anywhere nearNorway ?"
Are these youngsters no longer taught geography? "No.Norway is far north, andHungary is more to the south and the east. ButFinland is right there