course. Blood is mostly water, did you know that?”
“So what was it, this power?”
His mouth twisted. “It was...power. Imagine that the world we live in now is frozen over, all ice and snow, and I’m telling you about a time when the sun was warm and everything bloomed. Cold and dead versus warm and alive. In this world, the power is invisible, but in the next world—the one we go to after we die—it’s an actual river. And like any river, it flows to a sea. When we’re born, we’re made from the waters of that sea. When we die, we follow the river and make our way back.” He still wore that half fond, half sad look. “When I was a child, I used to picture it black as ink, running across a great plain where it was always midnight. No trees. Just giant rocks and scraggly weeds. We followed a river into the north for a few weeks when I was very young, up where it’s dead. I think that’s where the idea came from.”
“Followed a river into the north?” There was nothing in the north but wasteland and ruins. “Where exactly did you grow up, magus?”
She meant it as a gentle rib, but he jumped as if something had bitten him, and said too quickly, “Nowhere special. One of the outer provinces. Anyway, that’s what I mean when I say that Lord Theron dipped a toe into the black water. It’s an overly poetic way of saying that he came too close to dying. I don’t think you could have done anything to stop that.” Suddenly, unexpectedly, the magus reached out and laid a hand over hers. “What they did to your back was horrific. What they did to the man you loved was horrific. They wanted to make sure you never dared love anyone again, but there are different kinds of love, Judah, and there are more kinds of people in the world than you can possibly dream of. They are not all like Lord Elban.”
She looked at the hand covering hers, and then up to his washed-out blue eyes ringed by too-dark eyelashes. “Nathaniel Magus,” she said, “are you flirting with me?”
He jerked away. “Of course not! No, never. I apologize if it seemed that way. I just—You seem sad, and I—”
She let him fumble, feeling only the faintest flutter of amusement: like a courtier must feel, burning people with words. Then she realized the amusement was the fond variety, and an instant after that she realized she was being cruel. She held up both hands in a placating gesture. “Peace, magus. I was joking. I’m sorry. It wasn’t funny.”
His lips snapped shut, and he exhaled with relief. “I was afraid I’d offended you.”
“Difficult, but not impossible,” she said. “Keep trying. Or don’t, actually. Right now I think you’re the closest thing I have to a friend.”
“You have Lady Eleanor.” But his cheeks were pink again.
“She feels sorry for me. You don’t, do you?”
“No.” He couldn’t meet her eyes as she said it. She wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.
* * *
Two days later, she sat alone in the parlor. It was late afternoon, that time when the sun shone its goldest. Her back was the kind of sore that made her want to stretch, but she didn’t know what state of healing her skin was in. Nathaniel Magus would come again soon—tomorrow, possibly—and she would ask him about stretching. Meanwhile she sat on the sofa, itching a bit from the bandages, playing solitaire on the empty cushion next to her. Relishing the silence and loneliness and hating it and anticipating its end, which was an interesting, queer mix of feelings.
Unexpectedly, the door opened and Gavin entered. He was sweating, covered with dust, and he seemed startled to see her. Which was absurd, because hadn’t he been the one to give the order that she be prohibited from leaving? Where else did he expect her to be? His eyes darted around the room for Theron or Elly. But there was nobody. Only the two of them.
She made him nervous. He was almost as depressed as she was. She could feel it.
Wordless, he went into his bedroom. Judah went back to her game. Through the open door, she heard him run water into the basin and splash the dust off his face. She heard the wardrobe opening and closing.
In a few minutes he was back in clean clothes—courtier clothes, red