laughed. “Sorry. It’s hard to bring the subject up, since you refuse to talk about it. Which is incredibly unsatisfying for me, personally, by the way.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“So you say. Gavin says otherwise. He also says it’s not spying if he can’t help it, so don’t get annoyed with him. Ha! Now you’re the one who’s blushing.”
Which was true, but it had nothing to do with Firo. Judah hadn’t even seen the courtier since the ball, and had no desire to. It occurred to her now that it might be worthwhile to seek him out, and find out if he planned to stay inside. He was a convenient alibi for the time she spent with Darid.
“I didn’t know you felt—that sort of thing, too,” Elly said. “I thought it was just pain.”
“It’s not the sort of thing a person talks about,” Judah said. She found herself a little angry at Gavin, for chatting so casually about things that were privately hers. He should have at least had the decency not to mention it. Judah never had; not since the first time she’d woken in a sweat, yanked from sleep by sensations that weren’t hers. But then again, nothing was truly hers, was it?
“Well, I know, but you could have said something to me. You really feel it every time he—” Elly stopped. She didn’t have the words for this conversation, either.
“Did you want me to tell you,” Judah said, “every time he?”
Elly grimaced. “Gods, no. In fact, let’s never talk about it again. Anyway, what I really wanted to say—well, here.” From her pocket she produced a handkerchief wadded around something, and dropped it in Judah’s lap.
Judah unwrapped it and found a small sachet made of some kind of thin silk. It appeared to be full of herbs. “What is it?”
“It’ll keep you from having a baby,” Elly said bluntly. “Put it inside. First. You know what I mean?” Not trusting herself to speak, Judah nodded. Elly looked relieved. “Don’t tell Gavin. He doesn’t know I use them. He said that Arkady used to make them, too, and the courtiers didn’t think they were all that reliable. But Nathaniel Magus says his are better. And I know the Seneschal would be angry with you if you got pregnant. So.” Businesslike. “If you don’t want to ask him for more, I’ll get them for you. But he’s not hard to talk to. The magus, I mean.”
“Noted.” Judah wrapped the sachet in the handkerchief again, and put it in her pocket. The breath whooshed out of her as someone threw Gavin on his back. When she’d recovered, she said, “Speaking of Firo, Cerrington’s next.”
“Founded by Lord Cerring, then it’s Cerring after Cerring until the last six: Cantor, Oren, Yan, Hubert, Cantor again—then Firo. Who has one son, still a child. The mother died,” she added, significantly. “Anna. Generally, the women aren’t considered important enough to bother learning, of course, but I made an exception.”
“Wait,” Judah said. “Why are you trying not to get pregnant? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Wouldn’t everyone be thrilled?”
“Oh, they’d be ecstatic.” Elly’s voice was cool. “The sooner I make an heir, the sooner Gavin can go fight a war like a real City Lord. The wedding’s only a formality, you know that. They’d almost prefer it happen on childbed, so they know you’re a proven breeder before the papers are signed.” Then, less archly, “And Gavin would rest easier.”
“So do it.”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know what Elban is planning,” Elly said. Then she smiled, a cold, satisfied smile. “Speaking of not having Gavin’s babies, let’s do the Porterfields next.”
* * *
That night Gavin took a great deal of teasing from Judah, who felt like she’d spent her whole day being thrown against the ground, and from Elly, who’d spent her whole day watching. He bore it good-naturedly. “I like wrestling,” he said. “It’s honest. Two men, no weapons. And I’m not half-bad at it, either.”
“That’s what you say about everything,” Elly said.
“It’s true about everything, I’m sorry to say.” He didn’t sound sorry. “I am not half-bad at pretty much every kind of combat I’ve tried. Fortunately, not half-bad seems to be all they want of me. The training master says he thinks I’ll rise to the occasion once I see actual battle.”
“An optimist,” Judah suggested.
“I guess we’ll see,” Gavin said.
Theron drifted in. There were large damp patches on the backs of his thighs. “Where have you been?” Judah asked him.