hair and bowlegged gait. One of Darid’s youngest stablemen, she didn’t know his name. He didn’t see her as he lurched to the pasture fence, put one arm out to steady himself, and opened his trousers. Moving now would only call attention to herself; Judah stayed still and silent and hoped he didn’t see her.
But he did. Fell backward and cried out an oath she didn’t know, scrambling to close his pants again as he fled—as well as he could—back into the barracks. Calling for Darid.
She took one step backward, then another. But Darid had already heard the call. His curly-haired bulk was outlined in the doorway, unmistakable.
She could have run anyway. She didn’t.
He didn’t stumble the way the stableman had, but something in the loose way he carried himself and the broad smile he wore told her that Darid was a bit drunk, too. “You’ve made young Con ruin his boots,” he said, his voice musical with amusement.
“I can try to find him some new ones,” she said.
He saw her face and the amusement was replaced by concern. “Oh, now. Don’t worry about it. It’ll teach him a lesson. He’s too old to be thinking he’s seeing ghosts.” He glanced down. “Besides, you ought to find some for yourself, first.”
“I was wearing shoes. They fell apart. Not actually intended for walking in, as it turns out.”
“That’ll teach you a lesson, then. You’re too well-dressed to be tromping through pasture mud.”
He took off his coat as he spoke. She said, “I’m not cold,” but he held it out to her anyway, and there didn’t seem to be anything to do but put it on. The material was thick and coarse. It smelled like horse and wood smoke and sweat. Like him.
“Why aren’t you at the ball?” he said.
“I was. It was lovely. Gavin and Elly are going to get married and make one, or at most two, adorable blond children together, and Theron will live a long life staring blankly at walls, and I—I will—”
She couldn’t finish. “Do your arms hurt you?” he said finally to fill the silence. “Is that why you’re here?” He picked up the arm that had taken the most damage, the one Elban had burned first. The sleeve of his coat was far too big for her arm and pushed up easily. Carefully, he undid the buttons that held her sleeve closed, then pushed that up, too. In the darkness she could hardly see the curlicue branded onto her skin, but his fingers found it. Tracing it lightly, a touch she could barely feel—and she could not feel him, she realized, with amazement. The only sensations she felt were her own. And he was careful. Even the pain from the burn was faint.
“You should go back to the House,” he said. “You shouldn’t be here.” His fingers loosened on her arm, and she surprised herself by putting her other hand over his, so he couldn’t take it back. The pressure made the burn hurt more but she didn’t care. For a moment they both stood, stock-still, and stared at the simple, impossible thing between them: his hand on her bare arm, her hand over his. And why shouldn’t her hand be there; why not, when soon enough—but she couldn’t think about that, that was a place she did not want to go. And it came into her brain that she wanted to kiss him, which was even more impossible, but this was a night for impossible things, a night for the unthinkable, and so she did. Her lips touched his, and pressed.
He jerked back.
Then his arm was around her shoulders. Not affectionately. This seemed to be her night for being grabbed and shaken and dragged from place to place, because he was pushing her into the stable. The horses whickered softly at the intrusion.
“What are you doing?” His voice was as angry as the Seneschal’s had been. Her night for making people angry, too. But she heard fear mixed with the anger now. She didn’t want Darid to be scared of her. She wanted him to stop talking. She put her hands on his face and held it. His breathing came fast and alarmed.
But he didn’t pull away. She felt him—sink. Like something in him had collapsed under its own weight.
“You’re going to get me killed,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You should send me away.”
He didn’t send her away. She didn’t leave. The horses stamped; blew; calmed.