Untouched The Girl in the Box - By Robert J. Crane Page 0,64

dunno. You’re the doc.”

“Yeah, and you’re the patient and the one that has to live with him in your head.” He leaned forward in his seat. “Which means you stand to lose a lot more than I do if we can’t. The good news is, Old Man Winter assures me that succubi have been living with this particular quirk for thousands of years, so I assume it’s manageable somehow.” His face squeezed into a look of concentration. “Obviously it’d be easier if we had some firsthand experience from someone who’d been through it, but...”

“Since I’m the only succubus currently available to talk to...” I shrugged. “On my own again. Big shock.”

“Is that a note of self-pity I hear? Cuz’ that’s not an attractive quality.”

I rolled my eyes. “Because being attractive is my biggest concern.” I tugged on the shredded turtleneck and stared down at it. “Actually, even if it was, it’d be near impossible given the crap I’ve gone through lately.”

“There it is again!” He pointed the end of the pen at me. “That little quavering of self-pity in your voice.”

“Oh, who cares?” I threw my hands up in the air. “So I feel a little sorry for myself sometimes. So what?”

“Because it doesn’t do a damned thing to make you feel better.” His dark eyes were locked on mine. “Yeah, you had some stuff go wrong in your life. Real wrong, in fact. I feel bad for you. But wallowing in it won’t make you feel better.”

“This conversation is getting repetitive.” I drummed my hand on the arm of the chair to emphasize my point. “Perugini gave me the same line. Couldn’t quite figure out her angle, though. She doesn’t like me, after all.”

“She doesn’t hate you. That’s important to realize.”

“Why is that important?” I was close to beyond caring. “Whether she loves me, hates me, or wants to kill me, the message is the same. You guys think I’m being self-indulgent, I think I’m justified—at least a little bit. It’s not like I’m whining to anybody but you about how much my life sucks.”

“Got a question for you.” He looked me in the eyes. “If you’re thinking about yourself and how bad things are for you, how much time and thought are you devoting to other people?”

I glared at him but didn’t argue his point. “Go on.”

He shrugged. “Seems to me if you’re that worried about being alone—enough that you’ve mentioned it both times we’ve talked, you’d look at what you could be doing that’s causing that situation. Self-involved people don’t tend to make the best friends because they’re too busy thinking of their problems. Ones that are bitter and hurting tend to be the ones that push others away, sometimes with their actions, sometimes with their barbed tongues.

“So congrats.” He clapped twice for me. “You had a bad past. You’ve got stuff going on right now that I wouldn’t want to have happen to me. But everything you’re doing that’s alienating people around you is because you’re so busy worrying about who to trust that you’re missing how trust gets built. You’re missing how to connect with people on a basic level and get to know them—and you’re giving up the possibility of a future because you’re stuck in your past. Your mom, the abuse—yeah, she abused you, get it straight in your head.”

“How can I have a future? How can I connect with anyone?” My words came out in a rage, but I felt the burning of curiosity at what he might say. “I can’t touch anyone—ever! Without causing them pain or death. And there are a ton of people no longer walking this earth because of me, because of what I didn’t do, because I hid while Wolfe was on the rampage, trying to draw me out.”

“Yeah, that happened,” he said. “But you went into the basement to face him knowing you were going to die, didn’t you?” I nodded. “That was your penance, kid.” I didn’t take umbrage at him calling me kid, surprisingly. “Yeah, a lot of people died at the hands of that maniac, but you didn’t wrap your fingers around any of their throats, didn’t kill a single soul up to that point and hey—news flash, you haven’t killed anyone since! You are not a killer, Sienna. You went in there to die, knowing he was going to eat you alive and do God-knows-what to you. You knew and you went anyway. You faced the fire and you walked out the