of an infant, so you’re not even sure you’re going to give that infant back.”
“Rebecca, no one is saying that.” Jake’s large hand finds my shoulder, but I shrug it off.
“Don’t touch me.”
I unstrap the baby and gather him in my arms gingerly, even though I am boiling inside. I lift him up, a fuzzy halo in a green onesie—my very last memory. I bring him to my neck, nuzzle his soft skin, and kiss his cheeks. “I’m going to miss you so much, little guy.” My voice breaks, and a well of emotion floods my chest. Tears slip silently down my cheeks, but I don’t wipe them away. I hold him against my body one more time, gathering his legs in the crook of my arm. His sweet sigh cracks me apart. “You’re going to be okay.” I kiss his cheek again, memorizing him, and then Maya removes him from my secure grip.
The void is instant.
She steps from the room, and I immediately collapse back in my chair, smothering my sobs behind my hands. Another loss. Another person taken. Another life stolen.
No more.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I say.
“It’s just—”
“I remember,” I tell Officer Toby. I grab my purse and cane and exit the room. In the bathroom, I strain for sounds of Oliver, but don’t hear him. The tears well up, but before they can break free, I drown them. I have to be strong: strong for what happens next, strong for Jackson, and strong for Oliver. The void widens as I wash my hands and return to Jake and Toby. Now, I’ve not lost one baby, but two. Where is Jackson? What are they not telling me?
In the hallway, Jake intercepts me. “Hey, we’re going to take it from here, okay? Why don’t you go home and get some rest.”
“What do you mean? Aren’t we going to discuss what to do next?”
He steers me toward the entrance. “We are. But we need to do our end first. The Amber Alert is going out, which will drum up all sorts of media attention. We need to field it and figure out the facts. Set up a call center and tip line. This just became a real investigation. Okay?”
“Does he believe me?” I cock my head toward Toby’s office.
Jake is silent.
“Got it.” I hoist my purse strap and sigh. “Are you staying here?”
“For a bit. I’ll be over once I’m done. Okay?”
I nod and see myself out. I make a left and then a right. My foot connects with a pine cone and the satisfying crunch explodes into my ears.
I must get my baby back.
Oliver. Jackson.
I face my mother’s house, a trickle of sweat gathering between my breasts. I prepare to go in when something darts in the driveway.
“Bec, it’s me. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Crystal. I press a hand to my chest.
“Where’s Oliver?”
“DCFS.” My voice is hollow. “They just took him.” I stare up at my house. “I can’t go in this house and be alone. I just can’t.”
“Hey, come here. Let’s talk about it, okay?”
I nod, too drained to argue. She takes my keys and lets me inside. I remove my shoes, fold my cane, and shuffle toward the living room. She drops her bag on the side table and presses me into the couch cushions. “Sit, relax. I’ll make us some tea.” I almost joke and ask her if she and Beth are on the same “tea cures all” plan, but I don’t feel like joking. I fear I might not ever joke again.
I tell Google Home to play music, not wanting to be alone with my thoughts for even a second longer than I have to. I close my eyes and try and assess what all this means. I know Jake will be coming here soon, and he will hopefully explain what’s going on.
“Cream?” Crystal calls.
“Sure,” I call back. “Thank you.” I gently stretch my back, which still throbs from my earlier fall. In the kitchen, the kettle whines then dies. Teacups clink against porcelain.
“Okay, nothing a cup of tea can’t fix.” Crystal enters the living room, china tinkling.
My body loosens and slumps as she presses the warm cup into my hands. “How’s Savi?”
I expect an obligatory response, but she sighs. “She ran away tonight.”
I sit up, new adrenaline coursing through my system. “She what?”
“Don’t worry. I found her. I think I scared her so much, she passed right out.”