Until I Find You - Rea Frey Page 0,36
her, opens the front door, and waits until she’s on the other side.
“If I could just explain—”
Crystal slams the door and stands in the foyer, stunned. What in the world just happened? All of the recent mishaps pile onto each other until she can’t make sense of anything. Finally, she climbs the stairs to Savi’s room. She doesn’t even knock. Savi sits cross-legged on the bed, reading a book.
“Why did you do that?” she asks.
“Do what?” Savi asks.
She looks so innocent, Crystal is almost fooled. “Drag all those boxes outside. Start that fire. Ruin all of your father’s possessions. Tell me the truth.”
She closes the book. “I didn’t. I promise.”
Crystal waits for more. When she doesn’t say anything, Crystal has to remind herself that she’s the adult here.
“Where’s Pam?”
“Fired.”
Savi’s eyes grow wide. “Fired?” She jumps off the bed. “Is she already gone?”
“Yes, she is.” Crystal almost hesitates but forges ahead. “You won’t see her again.”
Savi turns in the door. “But you can’t fire her! She’s my only friend!” Savi’s voice rises as she rushes down the stairs. “Pam! Pam!”
Crystal sighs and follows her. “She’s gone, Savi.”
Savi whips around in the hallway, and her eyes are fierce and dark. “You can’t fire Pam. I need her. Please.”
“You should have thought about that before you set fire to your father’s things.” Crystal folds her arms.
Savi nervously opens and closes her fingers. “Fine. I did it, okay? I was tired of looking at the boxes, and you were never going to do it, so I did.”
“Savi.”
“I did! I swear. Now can you hire Pam back, please?” She runs to the front door. “Pam!” She screams into the open night and Crystal gently pulls her inside.
“Savi, stop. Stop it right now.”
Savi bucks, and Crystal wraps both arms around her little body while Savi fights against her. “You can’t fire her! You can’t! I need her.” Her sobs escalate then muffle against Crystal’s middle. “Please. I need her.”
“Just calm down. Take some deep breaths.”
Savi sucks big breaths and Crystal waits until she stops crying. She guides her to the couch. “Talk to me.”
Savi looks up. “You’re never happy.”
Crystal forces herself not to react. “What does that mean?”
“I know those boxes make you sad. I wanted them to go away too.”
“So you dragged them out there all by yourself? How is that even possible?”
She shrugs. “Pam was napping. She was tired. It didn’t take long.”
“You cannot set fires, young lady. Do you understand me? You could have died.”
She swipes her nose. “I know.”
“Do you, Savi?” She scratches her forehead. “Are you not getting enough attention?”
“I just want Pam back. Please hire her back. It wasn’t her fault.”
She sighs. “It is her fault if these things keep happening and she’s the one taking the blame.”
“She’s only doing that so I won’t get in trouble. She’s my friend.”
Crystal stands. “No, she’s not your friend. She’s your nanny. She’s an adult, Savi. There’s a difference.” Crystal senses another tantrum coming, and she quickly backtracks. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”
“But—”
“Savi, go.”
She nods.
“And there are going to be some serious consequences for what you’ve done,” she calls simply before her daughter disappears upstairs. She doesn’t want to negate her feelings or make her feel worse by forcing false remorse or an apology, but her actions have pushed things into new territory. She locates her phone and sends Dr. Gibbons a frantic text to see if she can squeeze both of them in for an appointment tomorrow.
She thinks about pouring herself a giant glass of wine but wants to wait until Savi is in bed. While Savi brushes her teeth, she grabs the laundry and puts it away. Upstairs, she hears Savi humming while she changes into pajamas. Down the hall, she enters the last room on the left.
She puts away laundry in the extra dresser and stares out the window that overlooks the pool. She attempts to grasp at her thoughts, but they are slippery. Her child is lying. Her child chopped off all her hair. Her child set fire to her father’s possessions.
Her child could have died.
She knows this is a massive cry for attention. When is the last time they’d spent real quality time together? Crystal pulls up her calendar on her phone to check her schedule and realizes just how difficult that will be over the coming weeks. She has so many jobs to do, Bec’s kitchen renovation being one of them. She can’t disappoint her clients. But