said as my gut twisted. It was not the conciliation it should have been. He was right. I’d risked too much. Jada. Our friendship. Our company. And now I had very little to show for it.
“But you’ve used me―our company―to try and…what? Bring them down?” he stormed.
“Yes,” I said.
More silence.
“So, the racing and the yachts…they mean nothing? It’s been a cover this whole time?” Behind the anger, the hurt was layered again because he suddenly thought our friendship meant nothing.
“Our racing together came first. Our friendship came first. That has always been the real me,” I told him honestly. “My boss recruited me because of our ties to Jada’s world.”
“What else? What other lies have you told?” he demanded.
“I had the Ada Mae modified to carry cash. Drugs. Guns. Whatever they needed,” I said.
“Quel putain de bordel. We were carrying? When we crossed?”
He was right. It was a fucking mess, but I responded honestly. “Yes.”
He was quiet. “And you expect to continue this? Using us. Me. Our boats for this?”
“No, that’s done. Our company and our boats will never be tied to it again,” I promised, and I hoped he could hear how serious I was.
“How can I trust you now?” he asked.
I ran a hand over my face. “I don’t know, but I’ll do whatever I can to earn it back. You are one of the few things in my life I can’t live without.”
He blew out a breath.
“I need some time to think about this,” he said. “You know how careful we have to be, and I feel like…like you disregarded it.”
I didn’t respond because it was the truth. I had disregarded the impact to the Armauds in my focus to chase the Moris. My boyish need to prove myself better had backfired and taken those around me down with me. My chest strained against the knot that had become my heart.
“Jada. What will happen to her now that she’s worked with you?” he asked with real worry in his voice.
“Her dad has banned her from any of his residences. Removed her but not disowned her,” I replied.
“He’s too proud to admit his own daughter turned on him.”
“Something like that.”
“And you? What will they do to you?” It gave me hope that there was concern still in his voice. That he hadn’t completely written me off.
“Supposedly, I’m safe as well. We’re safe. But…”
I let it trail off because there were so many unknowns. The Kyōdaina had long memories and carried big grudges. If Mori-sama was ever toppled from his perch at the top of the pile, I wasn’t sure we’d be protected. We definitely weren’t safe with Ken’Ichi out there, licking his wounds, growing more furious by the second as his name was added to the “out” list, tossed aside after years of loyal service.
“But it’s the Kyōdaina,” Dax finished my sentence for me. “You at least got the bastard who shot her, right?”
“Not yet,” I growled, my own anger reflecting.
“Putain de bordel de merde,” he swore before asking, “Where is she?”
“New London Memorial. She was full of her normal piss and vinegar and kicked Vi and me out. We have a twenty-four-hour guard on her. She’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“But you let her get shot,” he said, anger returning. My throat closed. If our roles were reversed and it had been Vi who had been shot, I would have wanted to kill him.
I had no response for him, and after a few moments, he was the one to speak again.
“At least you feel like shit about it. Will they let me see her?” he asked.
“I’ll call now and put you on the approved list.”
Silence settled down again between us, and this time, I was the one to break it.
“I’m sorry I involved you―our business―in this,” I choked. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Going to cry on me, Langley?” he tried to tease, but his voice was full of emotion too, the same mixed bag of them he’d had for the whole call: anger, hurt, worry.
“Maybe,” I said with a shrug he couldn’t see.
“Honestly…it’s better than what I was imagining, in many ways,” he said quietly.
“What were you imagining?”
“There were times when I thought you might have been her supplier, working for them for real,” he said quietly.
“And you still went into business with me?” I said, surprised.
“Well, we’d already gone down the road together, and I wasn’t willing to throw it away for a hunch. I also wasn’t ready to ask and have everything fall