I tap my chin with a finger, feeling my neck heat, my face flush. It’s a struggle to keep my voice even. “You know, I think I’ll take an emphatic pass on sleeping with my brother-in-law.”
He shrugs like it makes no difference to him—and silently confirming that his vague words meant exactly what I thought they meant—but then his eyes are caught on something over my shoulder. I assume Ethan is walking back, because Dane smiles, tilting his chin. “Yeah,” he says as Ethan approaches, “I guess he’s all right.”
I gape at how casually he returns to our earlier conversation.
“Were you two talking about me?” Ethan asks, lowering onto the stool beside me and pressing his smile to my cheek.
“We were,” Dane says. I look at him. There’s not even a warning in his expression, not even any fear that I’ll say something to Ethan about what just happened. By telling him that we all have stories, by implying that I’m not going to press into his past, have I indicated that I’m okay being eternally complicit somehow?
Dane peeks down at his phone when it vibrates on the bar top next to him. “Oh, Ami is running about an hour late.”
I stand, abruptly, robotically. “You know, that’s okay. I’m not the best company tonight. Rain check, guys?”
Dane nods easily, but Ethan looks concerned, reaching out with a hand to stop me. “Hey, hey. You okay?”
“Yeah.” I run a shaking hand through my hair, looking past him. I feel jittery and gross and somehow like I’ve done something unfaithful—to Ethan and my sister. I need to get away from Dane and get some air. “I think I just want to go home and wallow for a bit. You know me.”
He nods like he does know and releases me with a sympathetic smile.
But I suddenly feel like I don’t know anything. I am thunderstruck.
That’s not entirely true. I know some things. For example, I know I lost my job today. And I know that my sister’s husband cheated on her before and is apparently happy to cheat on her again. With her twin. I need to get some clarity and figure out how the hell I’m going to tell Ami about all of this.
chapter sixteen
I’m halfway to my car when I hear Ethan’s voice calling out to me across the parking lot. Turning, I watch as he carefully makes his way through the slush and the ice and comes to a stop in front of me.
He didn’t bother to put on his coat before following me outside and shivers against the cold. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m not great, honestly, but I’ll be fine.” I think.
“Do you want me to come back to your place with you?”
“No.” I wince, hoping he knows this came out more abruptly than I intended. Attempting to tamp down my anger, I take a deep breath and give him a very wobbly smile; this isn’t his fault. I need to talk to Ami. I need to think and make some sense of how Dane had the balls to say something like that to me with his brother just feet away. I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do for a job, immediately. I scrape the toe of my boot against a patch of ice. “I think I just need to go home and freak out a little on my own.”
Ethan tilts his head, gaze roaming my face deliberately. “Okay. But if you need me to come over, just text.”
“I will.” I pull my lips between my teeth, resisting the urge to tell him to come with me and be my sounding board. But I know that won’t work. “I’ll be terrible company tonight, but it’s still going to be weird sleeping alone in my own bed. You’ve ruined me.”
I can tell he likes this. He takes a step forward and bends to kiss me, deepening it gently, a tiny, sweet taste. When he pulls back, he runs a finger across my forehead. He’s so sweet. It’s started snowing again and the flakes flutter down to land on his shoulders, the back of his hand, the tips of his lashes. “You left really suddenly,” he says, and I’m not surprised that he can’t let it go. I’m acting like a maniac. “What happened when I was in the bathroom?”
I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out. “Dane said something kind of shitty.”