with me through the difficulties. I love your mind, and can’t believe I get to have you as my first reader.
My friend and mentor Eric McHenry played an instrumental role in bringing this book to life. Eric, when I first asked you to edit that essay back in 2014, my only goal was to write something beautiful for the man I loved—but with your endless encouragement, it became something more. I have no idea where I’d be if you hadn’t been so willing to share your writerly wisdom, to read so many of my ugly first drafts, to connect me with a wonderful editor who became my wonderful editor, and to write on my behalf to literary agents. Given how reluctant I was to write about my life, I have every reason to believe that this book wouldn’t exist without you. I am forever in your debt!
And now, to contain my loquacity and in homage to my favorite social media platform, tweet-length expressions of gratitude:
To my brilliant editor, Alex Star—You gave me the book’s structure the day we met, and expertly molded the text each time you touched it.
Mel Flashman, literary agent extraordinaire—I couldn’t have asked for an advocate more enthusiastic and equipped (in all ways!) than you.
Adrian Chen—I’ve never known a more thorough reporter. The depths of our conversations made my thinking and writing infinitely clearer.
Willing Davidson—The title you gave Adrian’s profile in The New Yorker was truly inspired. Thank you for sharing it with this book.
Keith Newbery—We wouldn’t have lasted nearly as long without you. Existential heroines forever. (P.S. Everyone follow TchrQuotes!)
David Abitbol—Your guidance and friendship have shaped so much of the life I’ve made. You helped me find my voice, and I owe you much.
Laura Floyd—Darling! The attention with which you read is astounding, and this book benefited enormously from your keen eye. I adore you!
Dustin Floyd—From Yellowstone to NY to Israel, discussing ideas with you and Laura has clarified much for me. Thanks for going the distance.
Louis Theroux—Your thoughts and questions on early drafts were insightful and important to the life of this book. I appreciate every word.
Andy Mills—You’re an extraordinary friend and teller of stories, and I’m grateful for the time we spend discussing ours. You are invaluable.
Dana Meinch—Thank you for teaching me how to be a good human, to set boundaries, to question assumptions, and to remember who’s on my team.
Rabbi Yonah, Rachel, Moshe, Tzofiya, Shlomo, and Nafi Bookstein—Your kindness and generosity of spirit are unsurpassed! An example to all.
Mike Savatovsky, Sarah Atkins, M., N., H.—Our month in MTL taught me intentionality and the magic of taking action—and chances. All my love.
Dortha, Mark, and Nate Phelps—Thank you for answering my questions about long-ago events. Dortha, you were so generous, and I am grateful.
Steve Fry and the Topeka Capital Journal—For opening the archives and shedding light on the early days, thank you very kindly.
To my early readers—Tom Kenat, Mike Savatovsky, Brittan Heller, Karrie Fjelland, too many to name, but you know who you are: Thank you!
And finally, to the family who have been my everything:
Josh Phelps-Roper—Going through this process with you has helped me heal in ways I didn’t know I needed. You are a rock, dear brother.
Zach Phelps-Roper—Your comments on this text were full of wisdom and comedic relief. You and your sweet disposition are a light to me.
Grace Phelps-Roper—I still aspire to the “wondrous things” you wrote of so long ago. Thank you for sharing your adventurous spirit with me.
Nana Toews and Grandpa Fundis—I now know whence my dad got much of his goodness. Thank you for the love and thought you’ve given this book.
Stephanie, Gabe, Asher, and Emmie Roper—Your presence in my life has been unparalleled joy & lightened the dark times. I love you dearly!
Sølvi Lynne Fjelland—You are the most precious gift, sweet dolly. The embodiment of joy. What a delight it is to be your mom.
Kurt, Karrie, Halle, Kate, and Jasper Fjelland—Halsnøy, the Hills, rocket ships, and princess cake. Oh, how I’ve loved joining this family!
Marlin and Joyce Fjelland—I couldn’t be more grateful for your wild enthusiasm and love. Thank you for raising my beloved so wonderfully.
Sam, Bekah, Isaiah, Gabe, Jonah, Noah, and Luke—Our years together were a treasure, and I ever wish for more. I am lucky to be your sister.
To my beloved Gran—Having your name is a constant reminder of the gentle wisdom & patience you inhabit, & to which I aspire. I love you so.
To my padre—There isn’t a day I don’t think of the wonderful father you’ve been to me. Your absence is felt always.
And to my madre—Who could ever ask for the sacrifices you made for me? I will never have a greater teacher than you.