many basic beliefs we have in common, which “regular” churches do according to tradition rather than biblical guidelines (not celebrating holidays, staying out of politics, the desire to warn other people that their course may be wrong, etc.). But where we choose a path based on showing love in a kind, humble and patient way, the WBC is, well … accused of being a hate group.
They also took the opportunity of our outing to revel a bit in certain new-found freedoms. They talked about getting haircuts and bought clip-on earrings (for a test-drive before committing to actual holes), and were flaunting flashy colors of nail polish. Yesterday evening they went out looking for a New Year’s party to crash and today Megan was trying to get a buzz (off 7up and brandy) in order to write a tipsy letter. It’s kind of fun to see them trying to find their feet in this new life of theirs. And I’m pleased to say that we’re probably the mildest possible influences for such an exploration. I’d also like to say that I really like them, and am so delighted that we’ve had this opportunity to get to know them, and hopefully help in some way.
Reading Laura’s account of those times, I laughed remembering how childlike we could be, that roller coaster of trepidation and wonder, guilt and exuberance, despair at our loss and delight at the smallest of freedoms. I marveled again at my good fortune, at how a random booking on Airbnb had brought my sister and me to such warmhearted people to help us navigate the squalls of our new reality. At how quickly our friendship helped me understand that it was possible to love someone—to be close to someone—even while seeing the world in a wildly different way. Can two walk together, except they be agreed? The answer to this rhetorical question—“Of course not!”—had always been obvious and obviously true, but it seemed like such a simplistic notion to me now. The idea that agreement was a prerequisite for friendship. That comity required conformity. My friendship with Dustin and Laura had so quickly helped me arrive at the opposite conclusion, and it seemed as obvious to me now as the original once had.
Can two walk together, even if they disagree?
Of course we could.
Not exactly revolutionary, but I couldn’t help feeling that it was.
9. Lift Up Thy Voice
Head Full of Doubt / Road Full of Promise
“There’s no fresh start in today’s world. Any twelve-year-old with a cell phone could find out what you did. Everything we do is collated and quantified. Everything sticks.”
Don’t act surprised that I’m quoting Batman. At WBC, reciting lines from pop culture is par for the course. And why not? The sentiments they express are readily identifiable by the masses—and shifting their meaning is as easy as giving them new context. So put Selina Kyle’s words in a different framework:
In a city in a state in the center of a country lives a group of people who believe they are the center of the universe; they know Right and Wrong, and they are Right. They work hard and go to school and get married and have kids who they take to church and teach that continually protesting the lives, deaths, and daily activities of The World is the only genuine statement of compassion that a God-loving human can sincerely make. As parents, they are attentive and engaged, and the children learn their lessons well.
This is my framework.
Until very recently, this is what I lived, breathed, studied, believed, preached—loudly, daily, and for nearly 27 years.
I never thought it would change. I never wanted it to.
Then suddenly: it did.
And I left.
Where do you go from there?
I don’t know, exactly. My sister Grace is with me, though. We’re trying to figure it out together.
There are some things we do know.
We know that we’ve done and said things that hurt people. Inflicting pain on others wasn’t the goal, but it was one of the outcomes. We wish it weren’t so, and regret that hurt.
We know that we dearly love our family. They now consider us betrayers, and we are cut off from their lives, but we know they are well-intentioned. We will never not love them.
We know that we can’t undo our whole lives. We can’t even say we’d want to if we could; we are who we are because of all the experiences that brought us to this point. What we can do is try to find a better