The Unexpected Wife - Jess Michaels Page 0,53

cheeks felt so hot she feared she might melt right into the floor without another word. “We did exactly what you think we did. I’m a widow…sort of. I’m allowed to do this kind of thing, aren’t I?”

“I think you are allowed, widow or not,” Pippa said. “The constraints around a woman’s modesty and pleasure are ways we are kept in line by the worst of men.” She leaned a little closer. “How was it?”

Abigail was leaning nearer too, and Celeste laughed at their excited, pensive faces. They were truly engrossed. “It was…lovely. Wonderful. I’ve never felt anything like it, truthfully. You know how Erasmus was. When he took me to bed, it was like a chore that had to be fulfilled.”

Abigail and Pippa exchanged a look, brief but meaningful, and Celeste’s brow wrinkled. “Was it…was it not like that for you with him?”

There was a long and very uncomfortable silence, and Celeste could see neither of them wanted to be the one to answer first. She folded her arms. “Am I to be the only fool who reveals herself?”

“Erasmus and I married a long time ago, five years past now,” Abigail began slowly. “And at first he was very attentive. I learned about pleasure and I enjoyed what we shared. It was only after his brother cut him off that things changed. I suppose around the time he began his attempts to find other brides, other fortunes to raid with his lies.”

Celeste blinked. “But he…wanted you.” Abigail nodded, and Celeste’s gaze slipped to Pippa. “And you?”

Pippa worried her lip, and Celeste knew the answer before she even spoke. “He was trying to seduce me even before we wed,” she whispered. “And for the first year was extremely…passionate.”

Celeste’s throat felt like it was closing at this news. “Oh.”

Abigail pushed her chair closer and caught Celeste’s hand. “It was never real, though. I think that’s very clear, isn’t it? If he made more of an effort to pretend affection or connection to me or to Pippa, it only indicates his level of desperation, not anything about you.”

Celeste bent her head. “I didn’t want to marry him. I should not care that he wasn’t driven to touch me. I shouldn’t care.”

“But you do,” Pippa whispered. “And that’s fine.”

“You shouldn’t judge yourself for it, though,” Abigail added. “After all, you’re saying you and Mr. Gregory were…together today. He is twice the man Ras was and he clearly wants you to distraction.”

“It’s written all over his face when he looks at you,” Pippa agreed. “I would much rather have that kind of regard from a decent man like him than interest from a lying charlatan like Erasmus Montgomery.”

The heat to her voice made Celeste look at her a little closer. Owen suspected Pippa still. It was hard not to mark her words as a piece of evidence against her, even if Celeste only wished to be comforted by them.

“I suppose you’re right,” she said, shoving those difficult thoughts away. “Owen is a far superior man. And he…”

When she trailed off, Abigail squeezed her hand gently. “Don’t leave us in suspense—Pippa and I need a good romantic tale.”

“A steamy tale,” Pippa corrected.

Celeste laughed. “I will only say that he pleased me more than I could have ever expected. Ever hoped for. He made me feel things…” Her cheeks grew hot again. “I never knew a man’s touch could be like that. Or that I could want it more and more.”

“So are you two…what is your relationship? Is he a protector? A fiancé?” Pippa asked.

Celeste worried her lip. “I think we’re just lovers. I cannot imagine trusting my heart to a man. I never did with Erasmus, of course, but I know the fact that you both…did…has hurt you even more.”

Abigail flinched slightly, and Pippa let out a sigh. “We all have our pasts to grapple with. And futures to try to see clear. And guarding your heart does seem wise.”

“Very wise,” Abigail agreed. “We must think like men. We can trifle and have our fun, but perhaps not open ourselves to something deeper. And now, perhaps we should speak on something less shocking. Poor Celeste’s cheeks will burn off if she blushes any hotter.”

“Very well,” Pippa said with a laugh as she raised a wineglass to Celeste.

Celeste was relieved when they changed the subject. Yet her mind still turned on what had been said. Guarding her heart did seem wise. But was she doing so?

Or were these constant thoughts of Owen only bound to cause