process this. At the start of the summer, I would have said that it was just walking dogs, that anyone could do it, but now I wasn’t so sure. Especially after Toby came on one walk with me and spent the whole time freaking out every time Bertie sniffed a tree. Maya gave me a smile as she clipped her carabiner filled with keys back onto her belt loop. “So . . . ,” I started, not really even sure what I was asking her. “Did you know you always wanted to do this? The whole dog and cat thing, I mean?”
“Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “Not at all. I was actually in business school, getting my MBA. That’s where I met Dave.”
“Really?” The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I hoped I didn’t look as shocked as I felt.
“I know,” Maya said with an easy laugh, not seeming insulted by this. “Hard to believe, right?”
“So what happened?”
Maya smiled as she bent down to scratch Banjo’s belly, and the dog’s back leg started twitching like crazy. “At the end of the day, I decided I wanted to do something that made me happy.” She gave the dog one last pat before standing up again. “And it’s working out so far.”
I nodded as I clipped the Wilson keys onto my own key ring. Maya handed me my paycheck, we said our good-byes, and I stepped out into the late-afternoon sunlight, three dogs moving sluggishly behind me. But even as I tried to get the dogs to move, Maya’s words were staying with me. The idea that you could rethink the thing you’d always thought you wanted and change your plan—it was almost a revolutionary concept. That you could choose what would make you happy, not successful. It was the opposite of everything I had long believed to be true. I looked back at the office for a moment, Maya’s words still echoing in my head. Then I gave Freddie a pat on the head and pulled the dogs back out onto the sidewalk.
ALEXANDER WALKER
Andie, you okay?
ME
Fine.
ALEXANDER WALKER
It just sounds like you’re crying. At 3 a.m.
ME
I’ll keep it down.
ALEXANDER WALKER
What’s wrong?
ME
I just finished Clark’s second book.
ALEXANDER WALKER
Oh boy.
ME
HOW COULD HE DO THAT?
ALEXANDER WALKER
I think there’s ice cream in the kitchen.
Meet you there in ten?
ME
Better make it five.
• • •
“What’s going on?” Clark asked as I glared at him, taking the stairs to the diner two at a time, my arms folded tightly over my chest.
“I’m not talking to you,” I said, pausing at the ever-deserted hostess stand, looking around the restaurant, and seeing Palmer and Tom sitting a booth over from our normal one. I started to head over to them, Clark following close behind me.
“You’re technically talking to me right now,” he pointed out, and I just glared at him again.
“Hey!” Palmer said as we arrived. Tom slid out from where he’d been sitting across from her and walked around to sit next to her, doing an abbreviated version of his usual complicated handshake with Clark.
“Hello, Palmer,” I said pointedly to her.
“Um, hi,” she said, looking from me to Clark, clearly sensing something was going on.
“Perfect timing,” Tom said, drumming his hands on the table. He nodded at the mini jukebox at the end of the table. “Because I put my money in, like, half an hour ago, and now you two will be here for my song.”
“What’s happening with you guys?” Palmer asked, mostly asking this question to me.
“Well, Andie’s not talking to me,” Clark said as he got a menu from where they were pressed against the wall with the ketchup and saltshakers. “I don’t know why.”
“Oh, yes, he does. He knows what he did.”
Palmer and Tom both looked at Clark. “What did you do?” she asked.
“He killed Tamsin,” I said, glowering at him, while across the table from me, Palmer’s jaw dropped.
“You what?” she gasped.
“Fictionally,” Clark explained hurriedly. “It’s not like she was a real person.”
“Clearly not, to you,” I huffed.
“You bastard,” Tom said, now glaring at Clark as well.
“Wait, why are you upset?” Clark asked, sounding baffled.
“Because it’s all coming back to me now,” he said, shaking his head at Clark. “Really, how could you have done that?”
“Yeah,” I said, turning to him. “Was it all just a big joke to you or something?” After I’d eaten my way through a half pint of cookie dough ice cream, trying to deal with my grief about this, I’d left a