Under the Lights (The Field Party #2) - Abbi Glines Page 0,71

he couldn’t see my butt that well.

When we were both inside, I turned to ask him what this was about, and his hands circled my wrists and tugged my body against his. Then his mouth covered mine, and I didn’t care anymore about sneaking out and what was wrong with Gunner. I just wanted this kiss. The softness of his lips. The smell of the soap he used rose from the skin on his neck. I couldn’t get close enough.

His hands moved to my hips, and held me there as he tasted me as thoroughly as I was tasting him. There was no worry of him running this time. I would tackle him if he tried. I wasn’t letting this go again.

It made all the cheesy romance movies I’d seen appear realistic. That one kiss that changes everything no longer seemed like a fantasy. It was real. I was experiencing it yet again.

When Gunner finally pulled back, I protested with what sounded like a whine. I was pathetic. I needed to control myself.

“Run away with me,” he said, so close still his breath tickled my lips and nose.

I almost nodded and agreed with whatever he was saying when I realized what he was actually saying. I paused. I couldn’t agree to that. We had high school to finish and college to go to. Running away wasn’t in the plans.

“What are you talking about? We can’t run away,” I said logically even though that kiss still had my toes curled up in my flip-flops.

“I can’t live here under this Lawton name. With a family who hates me for all that I represent to them. I’m proof of pain and destruction. I hate it. I want to just be me somewhere that the name Lawton means nothing.

“I can’t leave. I’m on probation. This”—I held out my hands—“this is my last chance. I don’t get another.”

Gunner sighed in frustration. “I have enough money that we can run and they’ll never find us. We can start a new life. Get new names. Be us without the bullshit of our pasts. Leave our demons here in Lawton and get the hell away from them. Forget it all happened.”

He made it sound so easy, and I could see he believed it would be easy. That we could just start a new life. But either he was tired or he thought he had more power than he did. They’d find us. “It isn’t that simple.”

“It can be. Don’t you trust me?”

I did trust him, but the way he was talking was crazy. “We can’t just leave. They’d look for us, and we’d be running forever. Eventually they’d find us. Besides, I can’t do that to Nonna. She’s always been there for me. Always stood in the gap and never let me down. Leaving her without a word would be wrong. She’d worry herself sick.”

Gunner paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. He reminded me of a caged lion trying to claw his way to freedom. Something had set him off. He hadn’t been manic when he’d brought me home.

“What happened? Why are you wanting to run away now?”

He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Now? Hell, Willa, I’ve wanted to run away most of my life. I’ve never been wanted. Not once. Then the one person on earth to ever tell me they love me won’t go with me. I guess I don’t understand love that well, because I thought that meant you loved me enough to go with me.”

That was a low blow. Throwing my words back in my face. Words that I had meant and still did. But using them like this was wrong.

“Because I love you doesn’t mean I’m willing to hurt my nonna. And because I love you I won’t let you hurt your future. You have college ahead of you. A lifetime to live somewhere else and be something other than a Lawton. But leaving now won’t fix anything.”

He stopped pacing and turned to look at me. “She was raped. My mother didn’t have an affair with her father-in-law. He raped her, and then she tried to have an abortion. He threatened to ruin her name and toss her out if she killed me. So she had me to save herself. My real father then left it all to me in his will to basically say ‘fuck you’ to the rest of the family. He was sadistic and cruel, and I was his tool to punish them with.