Under the Lights (The Field Party #2) - Abbi Glines Page 0,68
Poppy too much. But it was her fault, Willa. It was Poppy’s fault, and she knew it. She couldn’t live with it. That is the truth. Accept it.”
The tears I’d been fighting off, or at least trying to by only letting a few free at a time, began to stream down my face. Sobs that racked my body broke free, and I bent forward, wrapping my arms around my stomach to keep from completely falling apart.
He was right.
But that hurt so much.
Two strong arms wrapped around me, and I went willingly into his embrace. He didn’t say anything more, and even if he had, I wouldn’t have been able to hear him over the sobbing. The pain I’d bottled up for so long I let free. I accepted the truth. The one no one had told me until now. The one I was afraid to believe or accept because I didn’t want to blame Poppy. I loved her.
But to move on in life I had needed to hear it. Gunner had given me what no one else ever had. Reassurance that I deserved to live too. So many times I’d thought I should have killed myself. I loved Quinn, so why was I able to live and Poppy hadn’t been? Had I loved her less? Was I selfish? I had asked myself so many questions and battled with my own emotions over this for so long I forgot the basic facts. The ones that tonight I’d finally said out loud. To someone who was willing to listen.
I cried in his arms for what felt like an eternity. The front of his shirt was soaked with my tears, but his arms never loosened. In fact his hold got tighter the longer we stayed there. When it all started to dry up and the heaviness that I’d carried for so long began to ease, giving me my first real deep breath in months, I lifted my head and stared up at him. This boy who I never expected to be my hero. I never guessed would hold me when I fell apart. This boy who had been by my side through many of my life’s changes. Maybe it had always been, but I hadn’t known it or understood it. But I knew it now.
I loved Gunner Lawson.
“Thank you.” My voice cracked as I said the words.
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m always here.”
Yes, he was. Even though his life was shit, he was still here listening to me. “I soaked your shirt.”
He gave me a small grin. “It’ll wash up just fine.”
“I . . . I haven’t talked about that or really cried like that about it.”
Gunner pulled me closer to him. “I’m glad you did with me. You needed it. You’ve beat yourself up enough. You need to heal, Willa. You need to move on.”
“I can’t ever forget them.”
He shook his head. “No. You can’t. You need to live for them and remember them while you’re living the life they didn’t get. Do it for them. Do it for you.”
“I love you, Gunner.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
I hadn’t thought through how he would react or what he would say, because I honestly hadn’t meant to say it out loud. But I had said it. Now I had to own it and deal with the repercussions.
Which ended up being nothing. Without a word he kissed my forehead again, then took me home.
It Wasn’t Like We Were the Trumps
CHAPTER 42
GUNNER
Knowing you love someone and saying it out loud are two completely different things. The first is startling, and the second is terrifying. I accepted the fact I loved Willa even though I’d sworn to never love anyone. She’d broken through my walls, and I was glad. She made me happy. Being with her was as complete as I’d ever felt.
The bravery it was going to take in order to tell her that, though, I was afraid I lacked greatly. I wasn’t even having to face the fact she may not feel the same way. There was no laying it out there to be shot down. She’d already said the words to me. But even still, saying them made them real. As real as love could be for me. I’d never told anyone I loved them.
Not even my parents. Because they’d never once told me. I hadn’t been raised in a house where the word love was spoken easily, like Brady and West. It