Under the Lights (The Field Party #2) - Abbi Glines Page 0,54
was too broken myself. I didn’t trust myself with something as precious as Willa’s heart. I’d been a screw-up my entire life. Acting out for attention and getting the wrong kind. Willa needed more than me. I wanted her to have the best. I wasn’t even a tenth of what she deserved.
“She seemed fine to me today” was all I said. “Let’s see that play, and I’ll give you my opinion,” I said, changing the subject off me and Willa. I didn’t need Brady thinking anything happened. He’d just make me feel worse. Besides, she needed him, and he didn’t need to be thinking about her kissing me.
Brady jumped up and grabbed the remote. “Watch the left side,” he said enthusiastically.
“Here we go again,” West grumbled.
I Don’t Hate You
CHAPTER 33
WILLA
The phone rang, and I almost didn’t answer it. The last call had been from Gunner, who hadn’t said anything to me but had asked to speak to Nonna. Apparently he was staying the night at Brady’s. I didn’t have to wonder why. It was obvious he was avoiding me. I’d be getting up early in the morning and going to the bus stop. I knew without asking that Gunner wouldn’t be coming to pick me up. The kiss had sent him running. Fine. Whatever. It would never happen again.
Kissing Gunner had shown me what I had been trying to ignore. He was the boy who had my heart now. Not Brady. But I couldn’t force him to want me. I would let him react however he needed. I understood hiding from life. I’d done it myself.
“Get the phone,” Nonna called from her bedroom. I had no choice now. I was going to have to answer the stupid thing.
Taking a deep breath and reminding myself if it was Gunner I couldn’t curse him out because he was dealing with a lot right now, I reached for the phone.
“Hello.”
There was a pause, and I almost said hello again; then he spoke.
“Will.” My brother’s voice startled me, and I froze. He hadn’t spoken to me in over six months. Even when I had called and written, he’d ignored me.
“Hey, Chance.” The happiness from hearing his voice felt foreign. I wasn’t used to that much joy anymore. It had been too long.
“Hey.” He sounded nervous, but there was happiness in his tone too. “How is Nonna’s?”
He barely knew Nonna. She hadn’t been around him much of his life. Our mother didn’t bring us to visit. Nonna had to save up to come visit us when we did see her. “She’s good. Still baking pies and working at the big house.”
“Cool. Um, so are you liking it there?”
I wasn’t sure anymore. If he had asked me yesterday, I’d have probably been able to say yes. But after today, and hearing his voice, I was now missing him and my life there badly. Maybe not my mom but the life I’d once had.
“Yeah, it’s good. I miss you though.”
He was quiet a moment before saying, “I miss you too.”
My chest ached for two reasons. One, because I did miss him terribly, and two, because he was talking to me again. I had feared I’d lost him. He only knew what he’d been told about that night. No one really wanted to hear the truth. Even though the truth wasn’t much better. In the end Quinn had drowned. That was the outcome of our mistakes. Mistakes we could never take back.
The image of Quinn’s small, lifeless body floating upside down in the deep end of the pool still gave me nightmares. I hated to remember. The reality of it chilled me to the bone.
“How’s school?” I forced myself to say as my throat tightened and my horror returned.
“It’s okay. Mom’s pregnant. She’s having a girl.”
Those words came out all rushed and nervous. Like he was almost yelling them before he lost his courage.
Our mother was having another baby. A girl. To replace me. Chance might not understand that, but I did. I was her mistake. The obstacle that stood in the way of the life she had dreamed of. I was never the child she wanted. She left me with her mother the majority of my life. I was a disappointment, much like she had been to Nonna. So she was having a redo.
“Tell her I said congratulations,” I told him. “I’m sure your dad is excited.”
“Yeah,” he replied, not sounding so sure. I wondered if they were fighting a lot in front of him.