when he looks at me—only me. So different from Parker’s, yet so alike.
“It was nothing but a bad joke,” Kade finished. Finally, he takes my hand in his, and I try hard to stop my hand from shaking, but it’s trembling like a leaf. Reassuringly, Kade places his palm over mine and smiles at me. And I’m a goner because that smile has always managed to charm me into oblivion.
“It’s okay,” I whisper softly, offering a weak smile.
“Well, then!” Parker exclaims, and all our eyes go to him. “Shall we proceed with lunch?” he asks sarcastically, refusing to look at his brother and focusing his burning gaze on me instead. I fidget in my seat, feeling uncomfortable.
“Yes,” my stepfather says, a certain softness in his voice. He places a heavy hand on Kade’s shoulder, and father and son exchange glances. “Will you join us for the meal, son?” Mark asks gruffly. I hold my breath and steal a glance at my mother, who seems utterly gobsmacked. Parker has been having Sunday lunch with us forever, but Kade hasn’t been around for years. So we’re all taken by surprise when he nods in response.
“I would love to.” Quickly, another place is set by the housekeeper, a plate placed in front of my stepbrother, filled with delicious food. I think I’m the only one to notice Parker’s displeasure at the sight of his brother. I sigh inwardly—he’s so protective of me, he even worries about his own twin hurting my feelings… But I can’t worry. I’m blissfully happy at this moment, and I let myself experience the feeling, my yearning gaze flittering to Kade as often as it can without raising Mom's suspicion.
After lunch, everyone settles in the day room, but Kade asks me if I’d like to go for a walk. I check with my mother to see if she agrees, and she gives permission, albeit reluctantly. I follow Kade out of the door, trying to ignore the burning sensation of Parker’s eyes boring into my back. Kade and I walk wordlessly along the strip of beach next to our home, enjoying companionable silence. As nice as that is, I can’t ignore the unsteady beat of my heart, the want for him to touch me, kiss me. Do all the wrong things in all the right places.
“Junebug,” he says after a while when we come to a stop next to the deck.
“Yes?” I whisper softly, looking up at him. Kade fidgets, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He can’t quite meet my eye. “Why won't you look at me, Kade?” I ask softly, and he slowly raises his eyes to meet mine as though it pains him to do so. And when we finally look at each other, he lets me see all the pain, the regret, the hurt he’s suffered.
I gasp. I don’t know why, but with a single look, he’s bared his entire soul to me. And I can tell he’s hurting. Hurting so damn bad. My hand finds his cheek and I stroke it softly, whispering sweet nothings to make him feel better. It seems to help somewhat, and he soon relaxes into my embrace.
“You know I didn’t mean to hurt you, right?” he asks desperately, and I nod in his shoulder. “I would never,” he continues fiercely.
“Why did you give me that stupid gift then?” I ask.
“I was being a jackass.” He sighs. “There’s no good reason. I wanted to get a reaction from you. Wanted to see your face flush.” He steps away from me, grinning widely, and it’s so good to see him smile. “I always liked seeing you blush,” he says wickedly, pulling on one of my long braids.
We stare at each other, smiling softly. And I wish, just for one moment, he could forget about me being his little sister, that he could pull me close… Pull on my hair in an entirely different way. He leans closer.
“Junebug,” he whispers again. I want him to keep saying it.
“Mmm..." I'm too stricken to form complete words. His hand finds the small of my back, touching it softly, hesitantly. Our touch is so electric it almost makes me bounce back, but I force myself to stay in the same spot, savoring it. His lips are so close to mine… so deliciously close.
“June, it’s getting dark!” My mother’s voice cuts through the moment and my eyes meet Kade’s. The moment is over, and I think I see a flash of regret in his eyes.