Twisted (Torn Series) Page 0,17

her into the pool while she kicked and screamed at us. They were always like that; playful with each other, so full of love. I had spent so many summers with them in that pool or helping dad as he barbecued for his weekly neighborhood parties.

When they died and I moved in with my uncle, I remember missing our pool and those warm summer nights together. It had taken me years to even be able to stand near a pool, let alone get in one. I finally took the plunge the day after I was released from rehab. I went to the city pool and stayed all day, working up the nerve to face my fears. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done, but I did it. For some reason, stepping into the water that day made me feel free and I had started to wonder if maybe my life wouldn’t always hold so much pain if I could just find the courage to let it all go.

Losing my parents at such a young age had completely destroyed me for a long time. Even after I had accepted the fact they were gone, it still hurt so much to think about them that it was hard to breathe at times. But I was learning to again, thanks to Chloe, even if I was a decade late getting started. She was my newest coping mechanism, and by far the healthiest. I felt alive with her again for the first time in so long.

I knew using women the way I had was horrible and I was ashamed as I realized I didn’t even know how many there were. I prayed that Chloe never asked me for the specifics, I didn’t think I could stand to see the disappointment in her eyes. I had been angry with her only hours before over being her third and here I couldn’t even give her a number if she asked.

As bad as the women were, the drugs were ten times worse. It had started out innocently enough, my uncle was rarely home to supervise me and I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, as cliché as that sounds. We would hang around after school, lighting up a bowl and playing video games.

As we got older and started hanging out with a rougher crowd, weed had progressed to pills, and then to harder drugs like cocaine, acid, and heroin. The highs were amazing, but always ended too quickly and I was back to feeling every emotion I was trying to numb. I started using more and selling to pay for my habit so that my uncle wouldn’t catch on.

Everything came crashing down around me when I was busted with weed. The fact that I didn’t have anything else on me at the time was my only saving grace. Naturally my uncle was called and went shit ass crazy on me, not that I could blame him. One week later, I was checking into rehab with orders to get clean or get out. I had hated him at the time, but I knew now that he had saved my life and I would always be grateful to him for stepping in and caring enough about me to do something. If he hadn’t stepped in when he did, I would be dead or in jail by now.

I had been clean for almost four years now, but I still missed it at times. When things got tough in life, my first instinct was to light up and send myself into a peaceful oblivion. Not that I would ever admit to that out loud; if Chloe ever found out that little tidbit of information I knew she’d leave me in a heartbeat. Living with her mother, she had dealt with drugs and alcohol her entire life and I wasn’t about to let it happen again.

It still seemed surreal to me even after three months of being together that she was finally mine. I knew I didn’t deserve someone like her, but I sure as hell wasn’t giving her up. I was too damn selfish for that. I wasn’t sure what I had done in life to find someone like her, but I wasn’t about to start asking questions, I just thanked my lucky stars.

I made a few more laps around the pool before making my way to the side and lifting myself out of the water. Swimming really had helped calm me, and I felt relaxed