at both of them. They’d always controlled every aspect of my life and I’d accepted it because it had seemed like a temporary restriction, but this decision would determine my whole life.
I was going to marry Mick.
Not Savio.
I rushed out, my throat constricting painfully. Just away. I needed to get away, but steps rang out behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. A hand clasped my upper arm and I lost it. Whirling around, I lashed out with my arm and smashed my fist against Diego’s mouth. He didn’t manage to dodge the blow fully and his lip burst, spilling blood down his chin and shirt. He shoved me against the wall, making my ears ring. Blood kept dripping out of his mouth with every harsh breath. “Fuck, what was that for? Have you lost your fucking mind?” Anger and confusion simmered in his eyes.
“You and Dad decided who I’m going to marry as if I’m not a person capable of making her own decision. I bet you felt mighty powerful handing me over to your friend Mick like some expensive gift. Did you barter for me? Did you and him joke about what he’d have to do to marry me?”
Diego looked disgusted as if this was so far-fetched he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how I’d ever come up with the idea. “That’s what you think? All my life, I’ve been protecting you, Gemma, and that’s what I’m still trying to do, even if you make it really difficult sometimes.” He wiped the blood from his chin with the back of his hand, only managing to spread it on his cheek and cuff. The sound of shuffling came from the kitchen—
probably Nonna listening in on us.
“Then why did you tell Dad to give me to Mick?”
Diego stepped back. Was that regret on his face? It almost made me want to forgive him. “He was the best option. We are small soldiers. We get by, but that’s it. The Amalfi is eating up too much money.”
Dad should have never rebuilt our second restaurant after it burnt down a few years ago, but he didn’t want to break Nonna’s heart who’d opened both restaurants with Grandpa. “You are working so hard, you’ll be rising in ranks, you know it.”
“Maybe, but right now our family name doesn’t offer much. Men who want you can’t better their position by marrying you. That means all the men who asked for your hand either want you for your body or they have even less to offer than we do. Especially some of the designated Captains who asked for your hand aren’t men you’d want to be married to, they aren’t men I want you to be alone with. Mick’s family is fairly well off and his father is Captain. Even if Mick’s brother is going to inherit the title, he’s still a good choice.”
I shook my head, feeling sick and sad. “So, he was the highest bidder, hmm?”
I pushed past Diego and rushed up the stairs, not stopping until I was in my room and had flung myself on my bed. Then I allowed myself a good long cry.
For some reason, I’d never considered the option that I might not end up at Savio’s side in the end. Whenever I’d imagined my future, my name had been Gemma Falcone with Savio giving me that annoying, arrogant smile. I’d never minded an arranged marriage because it had always been clear that Savio would be the one I’d be promised to. It had always felt like fate, an irrefutable truth.
Today the silly hopes of a stupid girl were crushed. Savio didn’t want me, not in the way I wanted him. He wouldn’t push me out of bed, that was for sure, but he wasn’t willing to invest more than that. I swallowed as a new wave of sobs wracked me. It wasn’t that I’d never imagined how it would be to be close to Savio, to kiss him and run my hands down his body, but it had always only been part of the reason why I wanted to be with him. He was funny, incredibly so. I’d lost count of the times his stupid comments have made me snort-laugh, often when I’d spied on him and Diego, and wasn’t even supposed to listen. Even though he and his brothers weren’t Traditionalists, they lived for their family.
After a while, I quieted down and just lay on my side, staring blankly at