She met my gaze. “Are you really fishing for compliments? You are the only person I could ever imagine getting a tattoo with their own name.”
I grinned. “Don’t change the topic.”
She gave a shrug. “It is nice to look at.”
“I like your ass too, Gem.”
She pursed that kissable mouth. I stroked my fingers along her waist and hip, enjoying how her eyes fluttered shut under the sensation. “I always imagined things to be different…”
“Different how?”
“Being intimate with a man. Mom never talked to me about it but my aunt saw me in my jeans and T-shirt once, and told me that I was asking for men to touch if I dressed like that, and that men are driven by their urges and wouldn’t be able to hold themselves back if I didn’t cover myself.”
I scoffed. “What a load of bullshit,” I growled. I tipped Gem’s face up. “No matter how you dress, only an asshole would think you’re asking for it. And that men can’t hold back after a certain point is complete and utter bullshit, Gemma. There’s no point of no return. That’s an urban myth that sick fucks use to justify rape. Even if you were lying naked under me, my dick already pressed up to your pretty pussy, I’d be able to stop if you told me so.”
Gemma smiled.
“I mean, I’d cry fat tears and my balls would explode, but I’d stop without hesitation. You can trust me at any point.”
Gemma wrapped an arm around me, her body softening against mine. “Thank you.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what for, but I enjoyed the feel of her relaxation.
“Tell me one personal thing about you that no one else knows.”
I tensed. My first reaction was to resort to sarcasm. I hadn’t bargained for so much talking, especially about emotions, but I wanted things between Gemma and me to work. I really wanted that, and not because I wanted to pop her cherry, not only because of that.
I didn’t want to dive into the black hole that was my early childhood and it wouldn’t really have been something no one knew about.
I thought back to the early days of my life in Las Vegas after we’d claimed back power. Suddenly after years of fighting and running, I’d had a home and the chance to live a life that came as close to normal as being a Falcone allowed, which was still a far cry from everyone else’s normal. “When I first became friends with Diego, it was because I loved spending time at your house. It was the first time I witnessed a normal family, one that wasn’t fueled by hate, pain, and fear. Don’t get me wrong, Remo and Nino did their best to raise Adamo and me. They did everything in their power to protect us, to care for us, but… you know Remo and Nino.”
Remo had taken care of my brothers and me since he was fourteen and our father had sent us to boarding school in England to get us out of the way. Dealing with our crazy mother, his sadistic hobbies and us, had simply been too much. “For a while, I really wanted a family like that, a life like that…”
“And now you don’t?”
I hesitated. “I like my family’s brand of crazy and things have changed since Kiara and Serafina are here. At first, I was pissed because I couldn’t act like I was used to, but now I really enjoy it, even the little monsters. I guess I like our version of a normal family.”
“Do you want kids?”
I brushed her ear with my lips. “Don’t you think we should master the first step of having sex before we use it the way God intended?”
“I don’t mean now. I mean someday.”
That was probably a topic we should have broached before we married. “I do, but not in the next ten years. I want Remo’s and Nino’s kids out of the crazy age.”
Gemma laughed. “Does the crazy age ever end?”
“With Nevio probably not,” I muttered. “What about you?”
“I want kids, but like you, I’m not in a hurry, even if it’ll break Mom’s heart. She’s already dreaming about getting her first grandkid next year.”
Relief flooded me. With Gemma’s traditional upbringing, it would have made sense for her to pop out a baby soon. “Then Toni and Diego better get it going because we sure as fuck won’t produce little Gemmas anytime soon.”