churchyard: the mischievous curve of her lips, the laughter in her eyes when she teased him. Now she just looked hardened. Angry. The change was startling.
He asked, “How long have you been here?”
“A year,” she said flatly.
“A year?”
“You’re wondering why I didn’t come find you.”
Ash shook his head, but he couldn’t dismiss it. She didn’t come find him. He would’ve searched every whorehouse in the city, would’ve shot every pimp and followed every lead. He had only a few days left to live, and he would’ve wasted them all trying to find her.
And she’d been here, all along. There hadn’t been anything to stop her from coming to him.
“Why didn’t you?” he asked. “I could’ve helped you. I could’ve—”
“You said you were going to take me back,” Dorothy said. “Don’t you remember?”
Ash swallowed. He remembered.
It was just after they’d left the Fort Hunter complex. They were in the anil, on their way back to 2077, and Dorothy had crept into the cockpit to ask him if she could stay.
“I could be one of you . . . ,” she’d said. “I could be with you.”
He could picture how she’d looked then, as easily as if it had happened a moment ago. Her dark curls had frizzed around her face, falling loose of her braid. Grease and sweat had covered her cheeks. She’d been the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
But he’d told her no.
I can’t had been his exact words.
Oh, how he wished he could take them back.
“It wasn’t that long ago.” Now, Dorothy’s voice was bitter. “For you, at least. For me it was longer.”
Ash’s throat felt suddenly thick. He could tell her now, he realized. He could explain about the prememory. He’d told her that she couldn’t stay with them in the future because he’d known he was falling for her. It seemed foolish now, but he hadn’t thought it was fair to Dorothy to be with her when he knew he would fall for Quinn.
Oh, the irony. He’d never imagined this.
“Dorothy,” he started. “I—” He started to reach for her, but she shrank away from him, her hands going to her neck, where she’d worn a small silver locket once. Now her neck was bare.
His hand fell, and he looked away, losing his nerve. “I should go.”
There was a beat of silence. And then: “You should.”
Was that disappointment in her voice? Ash couldn’t tell, and he couldn’t look at her again.
He hurled himself down the hall and was gone.
13
Dorothy
Dorothy hunched over the sink, eyelashes fluttering as she tried to hold back tears. She wasn’t breathing. She felt slapped. She felt . . . undone.
She’d been fine until he’d said her name—Dorothy—and then it felt like someone had reached into her chest and squeezed the air from her lungs.
She hadn’t been ready. Over the past year, she’d been so careful to avoid the school, and Dante’s, and anywhere else she might see him. But she couldn’t avoid him forever, and now, finally, he’d found her. He’d just been standing there, staring at her, and he’d seen her face, her scar. He knew who she was.
He knew everything.
Her heart was pounding. How often had she imagined this moment? She must’ve pictured it a thousand times, standing before Ash and telling him that she’d moved on. She had a new home, new allies. She didn’t need him.
She hadn’t realized it would be a lie.
And—God—now, she couldn’t stop seeing the expression on his face when he’d looked at her. The twitch of his lips, the narrowing of his eyes . . .
He’d been revolted by her. In her darkest moments, Dorothy had never imagined Ash would look at her like that. She flinched, thinking of it.
She curled her fingers around the sink, hating herself for thinking it could be any other way.
It’s happened. It’s over.
Dorothy closed her eyes and took a deep, uneven breath, letting the truth of this settle over her. She might not have wanted Ash to find out like this, but she’d always known he would find out. They were on different sides now. There was nothing to be done about that.
She breathed in, and she breathed out. She had to control this.
Whatever she’d felt for Ash once, it was over now.
She needed it to be over.
But when she opened her eyes, she saw him reflected back at her from the mirror above the sink.
She felt a jolt as their eyes met. “What—”
“I forgot something.” His face was tense, and his voice sounded thicker than it had moments