Chandra coughed into her fist. Willis did something unnecessarily loud that involved a spoon clattering against the sugar bowl.
Zora was looking at him now, brow furrowed. Ash watched her swallow, trying to gather herself.
“I don’t understand,” she said firmly. “We talked about this. We were going to figure out a way to fix it. We were—”
“Fix what, exactly? How do you propose we go about changing a memory?”
“It’s not a memory yet!”
“Zor— Jesus—that’s what a prememory is. Didn’t you read the Professor’s journal? He saw the mega-quake before it happened. He saw it for months, and he didn’t do anything because he couldn’t.” Ash raked a hand back through his hair. “If it was possible to change it, don’t you think he would’ve? Don’t you think he would’ve done anything to save—”
He broke off then, realizing he’d gone too far. Zora only stared at him, her expression chilly and blank.
Zora’s mother, Natasha, had died in the massive earthquake that had destroyed Seattle, and the Professor had nearly ruined himself going back in time again and again, trying to find a way to bring her back.
Ash felt cruel, bringing it up like this. He looked at his hands. “Sorry.”
Zora considered him and then nodded, and turned toward the window, her shoulders rigid.
“About this party,” Chandra said, after a beat. “You feel like you have to go, right? Like it’s destiny or whatever?”
Ash was quiet for a moment. He pictured Quinn staring out of the television set above the bar—or, rather, the darkness inside the cloak where Quinn’s face should have been. He imagined walking up to her at this party, pulling his gun out, finger twitching on the trigger and—
It could be over, just like that.
He could live.
But he wanted something else, too. Maybe more. In his head, he threw back Quinn’s hood and finally, finally saw her face.
His chest hurt with the wanting of it.
How? he thought. His heartbeat was cannon fire. How do I ever fall in love with her?
“I have to go,” he said, looking at Zora. “I have to know how it happens.”
Zora wouldn’t meet his eyes, but a muscle in her jaw tightened.
“Okay,” Chandra said. “Can’t we all just go with you? We can make sure you don’t do anything completely crazy, and if there is a way to keep your prememory from happening, it’s more likely that we’ll figure it out if we’re all there together.”
Ash frowned. This hadn’t been part of the plan. “Wait—”
Chandra turned to Zora, hopeful. “You said that you needed your father’s old textbooks to help you figure out the math in his notes, right? The ones he had in his office before the earthquake?”
Zora blinked, clearly surprised by this sudden shift in the conversation. “Yeah.”
“Okay, well we can’t go back in time to get them, but the Black Cirkus can, somehow. Either they’ve found more exotic matter or they’ve found another way to go back, and, either way, I think we should know how they’re doing it.”
She shrugged.
“Maybe it would help us figure out how to go back in time again ourselves.”
“That’s actually a good point,” Willis said.
Chandra rounded on him. “Don’t say actually like you’re all surprised. I’m freaking smart.”
“Wouldn’t we be seen?” Willis asked. He lifted a teacup to his lips and blew gently. “Roman will be there, and the last time we saw him he was very much in a shoot now ask questions later sort of mood.”
“The whole city’s going to be there,” Chandra said. “We’re lucky it’s a masquerade, otherwise everyone would recognize us.”
“I’m not fading into any crowd,” Willis said.
“You might have to stay behind for this one,” Zora said. Ash glanced over at her and saw—unbelievably—that she was considering this.
He sat up straighter. “Zor—”
Willis cut him off. “And I’ll just, what, sit at home darning my socks while the rest of you attend the party of the year?” Willis sniffed. “Why, yes, that sounds like my idea of the perfect evening.”
Chandra said, “Darning your socks?”
“It used to be a thing,” muttered Willis unhappily, sipping his tea.
Zora leveled a heavy gaze at Ash, and he could see the two sides of her brain going to war. She didn’t want him to go anywhere near Quinn. But Chandra had made a convincing argument.
“You don’t have to do this,” Ash rushed to say. And then, turning to Willis and Chandra, he added, “None of you do.”
“If you’re going, we’re going,” Chandra said simply, and Willis nodded.