Truly, Madly, Deeply (The Baxters #31) - Karen Kingsbury Page 0,63

stirred their hair. Tommy leaned close and kissed her. The sweetest kiss.

And then Annalee fell asleep.

19

In the pitch dark of her bedroom, Reagan stared at the ceiling and tried to slow her breathing. Her heart raced, pounding against her chest. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand and checked the time.

2:17.

Morning was getting closer with every minute and still Reagan couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t catch her breath. What if Tommy really does become a police officer right out of school? What if he moved somewhere like Florida and worked far away from home until he turned twenty-one. And what if he was giving someone a ticket on the side of the road and a car flew by and hit him? Someone texting… or drunk… drugged, maybe?

Police officers stood too close to traffic every time they wrote a ticket.

Or what if he takes a domestic violence call and someone ambushes him? That happened all the time. For years Reagan had watched Cops with Tommy and Luke on summer nights when the little kids were in bed.

Before she had the slightest thought that Tommy might actually become a police officer.

The show had taught her every kind of danger a cop faced. Every day. Every hour on the job. What if he pursues a suspect and a chase happens? And what if Tommy was speeding to catch the guy and he had to run a red light?

Or what if someone coming the other way didn’t hear the sirens or see the flashing lights, and what if they drove straight into Tommy’s police car and…

Stop! she ordered herself. Her anxiety was getting worse. She tried to think about the past. Tommy as a little boy… Tommy playing his first basketball game at eight years old. Tommy learning to ride his bike.

But what if some other little boy is learning to ride his bike and he gets hit by a car? And Tommy had to respond to the call and… and see the unthinkable? What would that do to her son? How might he change after a year of working on the streets as a cop?

Don’t do this! She shook her head. If she didn’t stop breathing so hard she would wake up Luke. And what about her heartbeat? Surely he could hear that, even in the deepest sleep.

Luke rolled over and opened his eyes. “Reagan? Are you… are you okay?”

She turned on her side and looked at him. Her eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness. “It’s happening again.”

“Honey,” he whispered. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I’m sorry.” She put her hand on his shoulder. But that only made her heart beat harder. “I… can’t breathe right.” She flipped onto her back. “My mind won’t shut off. I… I can’t slow my heart down.”

“Pray.” Luke reached over and pushed her hair from her face. “Remember?” He hesitated. “God, you are the Prince of Peace. Please… stand guard over our bed. Right next to Reagan.” His voice held an unwavering love.

“Yes, please, God.” Reagan closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed just a little.

“And breathe Your spirit through this place. Surround Reagan with the truth of Your presence.” Every word from her husband was like balm to her soul. “In Jesus’ name, amen.”

“Amen.” Reagan felt her heartbeat ease off just enough. She took her first deep breath in an hour and turned back on her side. The pillow felt cool and wonderful.

She blinked a few times. “Why does this keep happening?”

“Do you remember, honey?” He put his hand on the side of her face. “How to make the panic go away? How to fall asleep?” He studied her face. “Remember?”

And suddenly she did remember. Of course. The answer was gratitude.

Luke had come up with this a month ago, when Officer Garcia first got shot and Annalee wasn’t getting better and all of life seemed to be crumbling around them. Gratitude changes everything, Luke had told her.

And so it had. Time and again. She breathed a little easier. “Be thankful.”

“Yes.” Luke smiled. “You’re going to be okay.”

Reagan closed her eyes. The problem was that the panic made her forget about gratitude. In the midst of the stormy hurricane of fear, she could barely recall her first name. She blinked her eyes open. “You.” She put her hand on his shoulder again. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Luke Baxter. Have I told you that lately?”

“You have.” He kissed her and eased his arms around her. “I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

What had she ever