True-Blue Cowboy - Vicki Lewis Thompson Page 0,60
looked shell-shocked.
He took another breath and soldiered on. “I fell more in love with every appointment. The past two days have convinced me this is it, the real deal.”
“Is that…” She paused to clear her throat. “Is that the thing I won’t like?”
“No, ma’am. At least I hope not. It doesn’t require anything of you. It just is. And it’s such a relief to come out and say it. I love you.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes and she blinked them away. “I’m afraid to hear the part I won’t like.”
“I probably shouldn’t have started the conversation that way.” He stroked her cheek. “I could be wrong.”
“I hope so.”
“One thing I know for sure—we’ve found something special.”
“Yes.” She swallowed. “We have.”
He took courage from her agreement. “I also know you like me quite a bit. I wouldn’t be in your bed if you didn’t. You might not be ready to call it love, but I believe it could be, given time.”
Her expression underwent a subtle change, a slight narrowing of her eyes, a tiny crease between her brows.
“But that’s only if you allow yourself to love me. That’s the part I don’t know. Will you?”
“I’m… I’m not sure what you mean.”
She was sharper than that. She knew what he was asking. She didn’t want to go there. He would, though. “There’s a danger in letting yourself love me. If you say it out loud, I might ask you to marry me.”
She gasped. “Would you?”
“Here’s the part you probably won’t like. Yes, I would, because I—”
“Stop it. Just stop it!” She scrambled to a sitting position. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?” He scooted up and leaned against the headboard.
“Ruining everything! Can’t we just have fun together? This is exactly why I told you what my position is, and now you’re—”
“In love with you. And you’re starting to fall in love with me. I can see it in your eyes when you—”
“I am not falling in love with you. I like you very much. What we’ve shared has been—”
“Off the charts, Eva. Look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t the best—”
“So what?”
“So what? What we have is rare, damn it! I never expect to find it again. That’s why—”
“That’s why you want to marry me? Well, forget that idea because I’m not marrying anyone, but especially not you!”
“Why the hell not?”
“You love baby animals and you want kids! And I—”
“I want you. I don’t give a damn if you can have kids or not.”
“Oh, you say that now, but then come the fertility tests and the medical procedures and oh, what about a surrogate? No, and hell no!”
Didn’t she know him at all? “I thought you heard what Ellie Mae said.”
“Ellie Mae?”
“At the auction. When she was introducing me.” He held her gaze. “You can count on this guy. He’ll be there for you, no matter what.”
She took a shaky breath. “I heard it.”
“Do you really think I’d say I don’t care if we have kids and then put you through hell because we can’t? Is that who you think I am?”
“No. You wouldn’t behave that way. I’m sorry.” She looked up and her eyes filled with sadness. “But that doesn’t change anything. You’d make a wonderful father. You should have kids.”
“Ever hear of adoption?”
Her jaw tightened. “Obviously. I was adopted.”
“And was that a good experience?”
“It was great.”
“So you know it can—”
“I was more like her granddaughter. She spoiled me, likely to make up for my parents’ neglect. It wasn’t a normal childhood.”
“Join the club.”
“But despite your rough beginnings, you want to be a parent.”
“Yes.”
Her chin lifted and her eyes flashed with defiance. “Well, I don’t.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really!” Her lower lip trembled. “Go fall in love with someone else.”
“Go fall in love with someone else?” Anger propelled him out of bed. Red-hot anger—with her, with himself. Grabbing his briefs and jeans from the floor, he put them on as fast as he could. Damn near caught his junk on the zipper.
“I mean it! I told you—”
“Yes, you certainly did.” He shoved the socks in his pockets and his feet in the boots. “And I didn’t listen. My bad.”
“Mine, too.” She sounded miserable. “I never should have—”
“Okay, look.” Breathing hard, he faced her. “We both made mistakes. But telling me to go fall in love with someone else…” He swallowed. “I don’t go around falling in love every day, Eva. I’ve never felt about any woman the way I feel about you. I can’t just turn that off. I’ll never turn