Trade Deadline - Avon Gale Page 0,76

be. “I don’t know what I want you to say, Danny. I want you to be happy here, but for you, that means being happy with hockey. But if you have to leave to be happy with hockey, then yeah, that’s gonna suck. I’m pretty far gone over you, if you haven’t noticed. But I—I want you to be here, be a partner. And I don’t know...” He trailed off. “I’m sorry. This is all coming out of nowhere, maybe, but you looked happy today and I realized I haven’t seen you smile that much on the ice all season.”

“Yeah.” Daniel looked down again. “I wish I had some answer, Micah, I really do. I don’t want to leave Miami. I like it here. The kids love it, Tabby’s happy, and I love you. Even if we’d never started a relationship, I would still be happy to have you back in my life. I like the weather. I like surfing. I like your friends and the fact they added me to the group message, even if I have to look up half of what Justice’s memes are.”

Micah closed his eyes. “You’re so cute it is actually painful.”

Daniel gave a little laugh, but continued. “I miss the Venom and I miss winning, but I don’t... I don’t want to lose you or any of the rest of it. But also I know that a lot of this is just waiting and seeing. Seasons sometimes turn on a dime—granted, we’re like, gonna need a quarter at this point—”

“Quarter? You need a dollar. A half-dollar. The really big one.”

“Touché,” Daniel said, and pointed his beer at Micah. “I could also get injured. It happens. Hockey is unpredictable. It’s part of why it’s exciting.”

“Maybe for you,” Micah muttered. “I can handle the games, and yeah, it’s definitely more fun when you win even for me, new fan that I am, but...not knowing what might happen, it’s hard for me. I don’t like uncertainty, and this feels uncertain. Not us, but your future. And I... I don’t know, Daniel. I lost you once and I don’t want that to happen again, but I also don’t think I could handle it if you stayed here for me and were miserable with hockey.”

Daniel swung his legs up and off Micah’s lap, then moved over to sit by him. “Hey. First, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was bothering you so much and I should have. I—I’m not trying to make excuses, but I guess I sort of took it for granted that you were used to this, because the only other person who’s ever had to go through this with me, she was a veteran. I forget you are new to this and I shouldn’t.”

Micah rested his head briefly on Daniel’s shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize. That’s the problem, do you see? This isn’t a fight where someone is right, and someone is wrong. I’m not mad at you, and you’re not supposed to know how I’m feeling if I don’t tell you. I didn’t really understand because how could I have? And how could you have known to tell me?”

“I guess, but it sounds like you’re breaking up with me,” Daniel said, voice tense with worry.

“Of course not. I love you, remember? I want this to work. I’m so happy it’s probably illegal, but I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do if this ends. Not because we don’t want it to work, but because of something I can’t control.”

Daniel’s smile was a little sad. He put his arm around Micah. “I know. I really do. There’s a reason a lot of hockey players are single, and it’s because this is hard and I get it. All I can do is tell you I don’t want to leave, that I want to stay here and make it work—all of it, me and you, the team...”

“And I believe that, completely. But, Daniel...” Micah took a deep breath and met Daniel’s worried gaze with his own. “What if you can’t?”

“Then I guess we talk about our options when and if that happens. You’re a part of my life now, Micah. I’m not going to make decisions without talking to you about them, obviously. There are just some I might not be able to control, and if that’s a deal breaker, then...” Daniel swallowed, visibly. “I guess it’s a deal breaker, because I can’t change that.”

“I know.” Micah leaned his head against him. “I do know that.