Toxic Game (GhostWalkers #15) - Christine Feehan Page 0,77

their cacophony of sounds. Some were melodious, but all too often, one sounded off on a particularly jarring note. Still, he liked to hear them.

“I’m sorry, Shylah. It won’t happen again.” He brought her hand to his mouth again, pressing kisses to the center of her palm. “It’s important to me that they find a way to save you. I think I became a little obsessive about it and I didn’t stop to think how it could look to you. I’m not rejecting you. Just the opposite. You mean something huge to me. Huge. I can’t think about much of anything else but keeping you alive.”

She was silent, staring out into the trees, her long lashes drawing his attention. Her profile was as beautiful as when he was staring straight at her. Up close he could see the dusting of gold across her nose. He loved those little freckles and he’d stared at them so much he knew the exact position of every single one of them.

“I’ve been preparing to die for a long time, Draden. I was always going to choose a time and let go on my own terms. There was no escaping from Whitney, not without dying a nasty death. He let us all know that. It was get killed in combat, and I’m not capable of aiding that along, or die of a virus. I knew he was having those individual strains created to target us. We always knew we weren’t worth anything to him or anyone else there.”

Everything male in him reacted to that. His entire body rebelled at the idea. He wanted to get physical, punch something, break necks. Kick the shit out of someone. She was worth so much—the world—and yet she hadn’t been given that. “Baby.” He tried. How did one tell her? Emotion rose to choke him, and he had to turn his head away. Whitney was the most fucked-up being he’d ever encountered, and he’d met his share of vile individuals.

“I wouldn’t have chosen a virus like this one. I’m scared to death. I am. But I would much rather be here with you. Have this time with you. Die with you, rather than live a life of what amounted to slavery to Whitney. We talked about it, the three of us: Bellisia, Zara and me. We couldn’t stay there forever. We agreed to escape if the opportunity presented itself, even if that meant death. We were going to live free for a few days, a week or two, for whatever time we had. This is my choice. You are my choice. Don’t take that away from me.”

She turned her head and waited until he looked at her. He felt himself falling into her eyes. Under her spell. The emotion welling up was sharp and terrible. Fierce. Overwhelmingly strong.

“I love everything about you. I told myself that was what it was. All those parts separately, that I loved them. I watch you. I’m inside your mind. I see who you are. I’ve decided it isn’t about loving everything about you. It’s simply about loving you.”

Shylah was the most courageous human being he’d ever met. His blood thundered in his veins, roared in his ears. His heart beat so hard it felt like it would come through his chest. He remained silent until he was positive he could keep his voice under control. Emotion was still choking him. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close, keep her safe.

Draden waited until he could breathe. Until the lump in his throat dissolved. “Do you think you could have fallen in love with me if the circumstances were different? Not as extreme? Knowing we had all the time in the world?” He waited a heartbeat. “Because I know I would have fallen like a ton of bricks. Just as I have now. I know it with absolute certainty.”

He pressed her palm to his lips again, brushing kisses there before moving her hand back to his heart. He kept his gaze fixed on hers, wanting her not only to hear the truth in his voice, but to see it on his face and in his eyes, because he’d never said anything truer.

“You would have been my choice. I would have taken longer to get there. I would have been suspicious, and I would have fought it, but I would never have walked away from you. I know that’s the reason it’s so important to me to believe Trap can