Touch And Go - Aiden Bates Page 0,39

want your help?” But did I? I put my feet on the floor, and Uno put a paw on my thigh like she was urging me to stay put.

Eli shrugged and then leaned back. “Then you probably would have left already. You said it yourself, you’re not a prisoner here.”

I glanced at the door. Boots laced, but I wasn’t rushing out there to get my answers. Maybe I felt safer in the Vanguard Tower than I wanted to admit.

Eli slicked a hand over his hair and lowered his voice again. He seemed to have the knack of sounding like he was completely casual and confiding a secret at the same time, and despite myself, it made me feel special, like he was letting me in on something important. “Look, we’re not saints, just a bunch of guys who came together to help others. We’re all fucked up in our own ways. We’ve seen a lot of shit. But Derek… Man.” Eli tucked a piece of stray hair back and tightened his bun. “If you’re anything like me, you’re trying to run because you’re worried about getting hurt. You want to be the one to get out first, so when it all goes south like we’re conditioned to believe it will, you can protect yourself from the sting.”

I popped my jaw and shrugged. Okay. So maybe he knew stuff.

“Derek’s the type of guy who you can depend on. He won’t let you down. He’s trustworthy and dependable. Most dependable one of us.” He reached over and scuffed up Uno’s fur on the back of her neck. “And that’s saying a lot, because we are eight dependable sons of bitches.”

My bottom lip was raw from how much I’d chewed it, and my chest tightened when I thought about what it might be like to be able to depend on someone. I cleared my throat, but my voice still came out weak and croaky. “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I can’t afford to trust anyone right now. Not even someone like Derek.”

Eli seemed to look right inside me. “Why not someone like Derek?”

Good question.

“I don’t need a hero. I need a…friend. A companion. Someone to share my life, not take it over.” I had Ben for that. “Heroes need someone to save. I’m not that guy.” I still had some pride left. And I was going to save myself. Come hell or more hell.

Eli pulled back and frowned, sounding confused. “Yeah, but we all need some saving sometimes… What’s the problem with that?”

I shrugged, but a surge of emotions pinched my insides and tears pricked at my eyes. “I don’t want to be just another victim to him. Someone he can save. I want his respect.” What I wanted was for him to adore me the way I’d come to see him.

“I’m sure he respects you or you wouldn’t be here.” He smiled, a flash of smugness in his eyes. “He wouldn’t have brought you here, I mean.” Sure. Maybe not kissed me. Because he brought all his poor little charity cases home from what I could see.

Eli’s nodded to a point over my shoulder, and I turned. Derek stood behind me, ruffled with sleep, in nothing but thigh-hugging sweats. My jaw dropped because this was a whole lot of man and I could see a fair amount of him. He was close enough that he could have clearly heard a lot, if not everything I’d said and I felt a blush creep into my cheeks.

Eli chuckled and with a click of his fingers, Uno jumped off the couch. “We’ll, uh, be going now. Excuse us.” Eli squeezed my shoulder on the way past and the two of them slinked out of the apartment together. Leaving us alone. Just me, my stupid emotions, and the delectable Dr. Dish.

13

Derek

“You tried to leave.” Disappointment welled in my chest and I wished I didn’t sound so…desperate.

“Yeah. And?” Seb’s voice was quiet but unapologetic, and the tone annoyed me.

I stepped closer and crossed my arms, more holding in my vulnerable feelings than trying to look tough. My voice was stronger now. “Even after you told me you wouldn’t.”

He frowned at me over the back of the couch. “Why do you care so fucking much? You’re not my boss.”

I ran my hands over my stubble and groaned as I looked up at the ceiling and tried to get my head in the game. I was pissed he’d essentially lied to me, but it was more. This was