formal enough to need a dress. She came back late and went right into the shed. Didn't come into the house to change. Went in like she needed to go in. Right away. Why?
But the answer, coupled with the sneezes and what he had found on her dress, seemed inevitable.
Comfort.
And when Bobbi, who lived alone, needed comfort, who had always been there to give it? Gard? Don't make me laugh, folks. Gard only showed up to take comfort, not give it.
He wanted to be drunk. He wanted that more than at any time since this crazy business had begun.
Forget it. As he turned to leave the kitchen, where Bobbi kept the alcoholic staples as well as the clothes hamper, something clitter-clicked to the boards.
He bent over, picked it up, examined it, bounced it thoughtfully on his hand. It was a tooth, of course. Big Number Two. He put a finger into his mouth, felt the new socket, looked at the smear of blood on his fingerpad He went to the kitchen doorway and listened. Bobbi was snoring gustily in her bedroom. Sounded as if her sinuses were closed up as tight as timelocks.
A summer cold, she said. Maybe so. Maybe that's what it is.
But he remembered the way Peter would sometimes leap up into her lap when Bobbi sat in her old rocker by the windows to read, or when she sat out on the porch. Bobbi said Peter was most apt to make one of his boob destroying leaps when the weather was unsettled, just as he was more apt to bring on one of her allergy attacks when the weather was hot and unsettled. It's like he knows. she'd said once, and ruffled the beagle's ears. DO you, Pete? Do you know? Do you LIKE to make me sneeze? Misery loves company, is that it? And Pete had seemed to laugh up at her in that way of his.
in that way of his.
Gardener remembered, when Bobbi's return had briefly wakened him last night (Bobbi's return and that flare of green light), hearing distant and meaningless heatwave thunder.
Now he remembered that sometimes Pete needed a little comfort, too.
Especially when it thundered. Pete was deathly afraid of that sound. The sound of thunder.
Dear Christ, has she got Peter out in that shed? And if she does, in God's name WHY?
There had been smears of some funny green goo on Bobbi's dress.
And hairs.
Very familiar short brown and white hairs. Peter was in the shed, and had been all this time. Bobbi had lied about Peter being dead. God alone knew how many other things she had lied about ... but why this?
Why?
Gardener didn't know.
He changed direction, went to the cupboard to the right and beneath the sink, bent, pulled out a fresh bottle of Scotch, and broke the seal. He held the bottle up and said, 'To man's best friend.' He drank from the neck, gargled viciously, and swallowed.
First swallow.
Peter. What the fuck did you do to Peter, Bobbi?
He meant to get drunk.
Very drunk.
Fast.
BOOK III. THE TOMMYKNOCKERS Chapter 1. Sissy
Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
'Won't Get Fooled Again'
The Who
Over on the mountain: thunder, magic foam, let the people know my wisdom, fill the land with smoke. Run through the jungle ... Don't look back to see.
'Run Through the Jungle'
Creedence Clearwater Revival
I slept and I dreamed the dream. This time there was no disguise anywhere. I was the malicious male-female dwarf figure, the principle of joy-in-destruction; and Saul was my counterpart, malefemale, my brother and my sister, and we were dancing in some open place, under enormous white buildings, which were filled with hideous, menacing, black machinery which held destruction. But in the dream, he and I, or she and I, were friendly, we were not hostile, we were together in spiteful malice. There was a terrible yearning nostalgia in the dream, the longing for death. We came together and kissed, in love. It was terrible, and even in the dream I knew it. Because I recognised in the dream those other dreams we all have, when the essence of love, of tenderness, is concentrated into a kiss or a caress, but now it was the caress of two half-human creatures, celebrating destruction.
- DORIS LESSING, The Golden Notebook
Chapter 1. Sissy
1
'I hope you enjoyed the flight,' the stewardess by the hatch told the fortyish woman who left Delta's flight 230 with a trickle of other passengers who had stuck it out all the way to Bangor, 230's terminating point.