a sneaky flower child. She knows I can’t pull my same grouchy bullshit with her little sister. Dove will cry immediately, and I can’t deal with that sight. So, when the girl guides me into the house, I follow like an obedient giant.
“Here’s your remote,” Dove whispers, still shy around me.
I can’t deny enjoying these people taking care of me. No one has babied me like this since I lived at the apartment building with the bunnies while coming off heroin. Back then, their comfort felt fake. They didn’t know me. Bronco ordered them to pretend to care.
With the Yabo family, I know their feelings are real. Even little Future picks up the remote when I drop it later. He’s always checking my face to see if I’m happy or not. I don’t know why the scrawny little guy isn’t scared of someone so big.
Tonight, Fairuza finally makes her carrot juice. I do my best to be impressed by something I have no craving for. Future, though, goes nuts. He’s so happy to have a familiar food that he can’t stop giggling. Once he gets started, the women follow suit. Watching the four of them laughing, I chuckle too. Is life with a good family this simple?
Later, after her family heads to the basement, Pixie tells me how Fairuza will take the kids downstairs every night by eight.
“That way, we’ll have privacy to run around naked,” she says, checking my shoulder again. “However, with the cooler weather at night, we might not be able to enjoy the hot tub.”
“Is naked something we can do now?” I ask, awkward after all her mothering today.
Grinning immediately, Pixie stands and starts stripping. Once naked, she bounces around and holds her tits.
“We must be very careful, though,” she says, and her gaze flashes to my wound. “You can’t be on top.”
“No, not for a while, but we’ll still have plenty of fun.”
Pixie’s smile returns. “I want you to feel good.”
Once again, I see myself through my honey’s big brown eyes. She thinks I’m sexy. My heart is full of sunshine. My past is part of my story, but it doesn’t define me. I’m not perfect, but I belong to her.
When I see myself as she sees me, I know I’ll never be happy again if I keep hiding in the shadows and mumbling rather than speaking up. From now on, I want to be the man Pixie loves rather than the man others fear.
PIXIE
Our home is so large and filled with activities that I never want to leave. Days after the raid on the Village, Anders has men set up the trampoline and a huge playset. I won’t let him help. Anders sits in a chair and supervises. Future climbs into his lap at one point, curious about what the men are doing in his yard. When they finish, and my brother realizes the fun stuff is remaining, he hugs Anders.
My blond bear even blushes a little when Future thanks him. I suspect Anders forgets to be human. That’s a bad habit I hope to help him fix.
Hours later, as we eat dinner outside, Anders admires the improvements. “I thought I didn’t want changes, but the yard looks fucking great. My house feels like a home now. I want more.”
“No chicken coop,” Mama says immediately. “Barbie said children under five shouldn’t be around the chickens.”
Anders grins at me and admits, “I really didn’t want chickens.”
“Me either,” I announce despite Dove’s frown. “I like fresh eggs, but chickens are very messy. All animals are. I saw Bronco’s girls cleaning up dog poop a lot from their yard. I don’t want to spend my day worrying about where I’m putting my feet.”
Anders leans his head back and unleashes thunderous laughter. Future flinches at the sound and then claps when he realizes what’s happening. Dove giggles at how happy our grand sequoia sounds.
The next night, while Future sleeps in the bed he shares with Mama, Anders plays “Raiders of the Lost Ark” for Mama, Dove, and me in the special room. My sister and mother are as amazed by the movie as I was the first time.
This experience is beyond the cooking and travel television shows we’ve watched. Instead, we feel as if we’re in the room with the people on the screen. Dove even gets upset during the violent parts. Though she cuddles closer, looking teary-eyed, my sister refuses to stop watching.
We enjoy ourselves so much that we plan to make a weekly habit of movie