those clothes because they’re low class. You’ve had no choice in what clothes to wear.”
“I would rather go shopping for vegetables than clothes.”
“Poor thing is always hungry,” Topanga says to Lana while hugging me. “Unfortunately, we have no time to shop before the party. Lana and I thought you could wear something of ours.”
“Why?”
“So, the women in the Woodlands won’t think poorly of you.”
“I am poor.”
Topanga smiles wider. “No, you’re Anders’s honey, and he is not poor. You just haven’t gotten a chance to enjoy his money yet.”
“He bought us food.”
Topanga looks at Lana and makes the sad face again. I realize she does that any time I talk about food. Yes, my family was starving. We’re skinny. I still sense they’re making fun of us.
Like the time at the government-assigned apartment when the other people laughed at my family. A boy shoved Dove, and a girl laughed at my bare feet. Mama slapped the girl and kicked the boy in the penis. People left us alone afterward. They claimed Mama was crazy from living like a dirty hippie.
Once again, I feel agitated. I’d rather play outside with Future, Mama, and the girls than have Topanga “fix me up.” But Anders needs us to get along with his people. So, I agree to go with Topanga and Lana to Bronco’s bathroom, where I try on clothes.
A few minutes later, I slide on a third dress while Topanga judges me. She says I’m too skinny for their jeans. She claims shorts aren’t appropriate for the party. Dresses are my only option without shopping.
I’m so relieved when they decide on a long, flowered one. Clothes don’t need to be as complicated as they make them. Caring so much about a dress is another rule from this world that I must learn.
But I’ll smile and wear whatever they want. For my family and Anders, I’ll be on my best behavior.
ANDERS
Bronco and Lowell suggest we head outside and keep an eye on the kids while the women prep for the party. I get the feeling my president doesn’t trust Fairuza enough to leave her unsupervised with his two girls.
Bronco feeling protective about his family is one reason I respect him. His sisters are bitches, and one of them might be crazy. Sidonie freaks out occasionally. Like a full meltdown where she screams and throws herself on the ground like a baby. His teenager sometimes acts as if she can’t stand to be in the same room as her old man. Both of his nephews want his job, and one of them is willing to fuck him over to get it.
Despite his family’s bullshit, Bronco keeps them all safe. The way he loves his girls is how I wish I’d been loved growing up. I never planned on having kids of my own. Now that I have Pixie, though, I think we might try. And if I’m a dad, I want to be a good one.
I suspect some men figure since they ended up with a shitty family, their own kids shouldn’t have it better. That’s what my grandfather believed. He wasn’t “babied,” so he wasn’t babying anyone else. That’s why his daughter killed herself, and his grandson walked away without saying goodbye.
Bronco’s daughters won’t ditch him. Not even Summer with her teenage bullshit. They love him deeply because he taught them to. My grandfather wanted love and respect without giving any in return. I’m not the brightest man, but keeping my kids from hating me doesn’t seem like a particularly difficult task.
Future’s squeals nearby make me smile. Desi holds the boy between her legs as they go down the playset’s long slide. He was scared until she wrapped him in her arms. Feeling safe with Desi like he does with his sisters, the boy laughs wildly once they reach the bottom.
Lowell eyes Future before saying, “Good thing you already have the security gate around the pool. Kids are always looking for ways to kill themselves. Dunning didn’t grow out of his suicidal nature until he was seven. Suddenly, running in the street no longer seemed like a smart move.”
“He really wants to go on the stairs,” I say, and the men nod in unison. “I see him falling, though.”
“Sidonie would go halfway up the stairs and then just sit there, daring the universe to knock her down,” Bronco says, watching his daughter help Future climb up the ladder to the top of the playset. “Summer jumped headfirst into the pool more than once. She