calm demeanor, yet freaked out by how she doesn’t fear me. We’re alone in an isolated area. I’m a huge guy, and she’s scrawny as fuck. I could rape and murder her without a single concern about getting caught. Pixie ought to be wary of me, but she relaxes in the warm afternoon and touches me without fear.
Though we don’t talk much more that day, I still hate leaving her. We only separate when she hears a horn in the distance. Again, she looks back and waves before disappearing into the woods. I wish I asked Pixie when she would be back.
But I didn’t, so I drive by that road three times a day for a week before we’re together again. This time, I bring her a treat. She braids my hair and tells me that I’m beautiful and special. She hugs me from behind and insists I’m a ray of sunshine. Then she eats the orange and asks me what I did at sunset the night before. Once I start telling her about the movie I watched, she’s riveted.
That becomes our new routine. I ask her to try to meet me every day. Sometimes, she shows. Other times, she can’t.
“I missed you,” Pixie announces when she sees me. “You’re so beautiful.”
I’m not a fool. There are times when I wonder if she only says those things to con me into bringing her stuff. So, I test her. After arriving, I don’t show her the treat, but she still says I’m a ray of sunshine and braids my hair.
Yet, I’m afraid she’s messing with me. Or, despite her hugs and praise, she’ll never feel what I do. After only a few visits, I’m obsessed with Pixie. I can’t think of much else.
My feelings aren’t sexual, really. Pixie is beautiful. Her dark brown eyes shine when she’s happy. And her lips are made for smiling. Pixie is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
But that’s not why I’m obsessed. Pretty women are a dime a dozen at the clubhouse. I never trust them. Even though the club bunnies in Elko are nice to me, I suspect they’re faking it. I’ve never been smart about women. I’m probably stupid by trusting Pixie too.
I need to stop visiting her. The Volkshalberd are weird and possibly dangerous. Plus, they’re giving my club trouble.
Bronco welcomed me into his community. He gave me a chance at a new life. He would be pissed to know about Pixie. I should stop coming here.
But once she’s out of my sight, I need to see her again. No other woman interests me. I can’t be with the bunnies. Only Pixie matters.
When I watch a movie or TV show, I memorize every detail to share during our next visit. I’m always thinking of treats to bring her. I worry about her eating enough at the Village. The Volkshalberd are so poor, and she isn’t in good graces with the top assholes.
Pixie shares things in passing about how the old people died in the winter, and the new people aren’t smart. Her mama thinks everyone will be dead by the end of the year. Pixie doesn’t seem scared when she says those things. She never acts bothered except when she speaks of her papa.
Yet, I hate her living at the Village. I’m also concerned about keeping her a secret from Bronco. I spend every waking minute worrying about one thing or the other.
Sooner or later, something will have to change.
PIXIE YABO
No one’s journey is easy. I’ve been blessed, though. I enjoyed a charmed life on a commune in Indiana. Our people—the Dandelion Collective—were my garden. My family lived there since both of my grandmamas were babies. I rarely had a bad day with the Dandelions. Every morning, I woke in our one-room house, next to my family and knew I had a full day of activities ahead of me. There was the Dandelion school and then free learning when I got older—reading, writing, herbal medicine, agriculture, and humanity’s struggles. Everyone in the commune was my friend. Any discord was dealt with in festive ways.
That’s not how the rest of the world works. Out here, people are angry and violent. We have to fight for food and shelter. I can’t turn my back on anyone. Everyone separates themselves by superficial categories.
Back during the attack on the Collective, I hadn’t understood why those government men were so angry or why one of them shot Papa. They attacked our home, yelling at everyone and