A Time for Us - By Amy Knupp Page 0,83
a test for him, she was scared to death of the prospect that he might not be nearly as interested in her now that her resemblance to Noelle was not so obvious.
But the real question was, why had Mariah asked her that? Not that Rachel was going to voice the question aloud....
An awkward silence fell between them as Mariah took a cautious sip of her steaming coffee.
“What did you want to meet about today?” Rachel finally blurted out. “The benefit?”
Mariah pulled her leg up into her own patterned easy chair. “Oh...no. Not at all. I just... I know we didn’t get off to the greatest start, what with my ‘great idea’ that I threw at you at that very first meeting. And I thought it’d be nice if we just got acquainted a little better outside of the publicity committee. I feel like I knew Noelle so much better than I know you. Cale seems to care about you, though. Quite a bit.”
Alarm shot through Rachel. “We’re not—”
“Maybe not yet but you never know. Anyway, I’ve felt bad about the way I pressured you when it so obviously made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry about that.”
“You’re not going to try to talk me into it again today?” Rachel asked, forcing herself to smile in spite of the very real concern that that had been Mariah’s motivation.
“No! I mean, don’t get me wrong. I still think it would be really powerful, but I’m not going to try to persuade you.”
“Thanks.” Rachel breathed out and studied her juice. “I... It’s been really hard coming back to the island,” she said, her voice heavy with the sadness that seemed to be only a half layer below the surface lately. “I’ve had to face things I didn’t want to face....” Her voice cracked and she fought for control over her frayed emotions.
“I understand.” Mariah reached out and touched her arm. “Really.”
Rachel filled her lungs with air and felt a little steadier. “How long of a speech did you have in mind?”
“Speech sounds so cold and impersonal...and long and intimidating,” Mariah said warmly. “I was thinking just a couple of minutes. Nothing major as far as time goes, though I know it would be major in other ways.”
“Understatement.” Rachel bit her lip and again shook her head. “I walk around feeling like the littlest thing could set me off on a crying jag, you know? I’m not strong enough yet to think about talking about her in front of a large crowd.”
“Fair enough. If you change your mind, though, it would require pretty much no advance notice to work you in. And it might, I don’t know, help you in some way as you process everything and try to get your equilibrium back. To be able to do that. Just...keep that in mind, okay?”
Mariah’s words weren’t lost on Rachel. It would be a major step toward healing, to be able to do it. Rachel nodded, unable to commit.
“I’m sorry,” Mariah said animatedly, sitting back in her chair. “I meant what I said...that isn’t why I invited you here. So, moving on...no more sad talk. Have you seen how hot Tim Bowman is these days? It’s become my goal in life to meet him before the concert.”
Relieved at the subject change, Rachel laughed. “I’m thinking that shouldn’t be too hard to coordinate. We’ve got connections, you know.”
The next hour flew by faster than Rachel would have imagined, especially after the rough start. It was tough not to like Cale’s sister...kind of like it was tough not to like Cale but without all the complications.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
RACHEL FINALLY GOT IT. She finally understood the saying “drowning in sorrow.” Thoroughly.
As she sorted through Noelle’s DVDs in the living-room cabinet, the ones that had been untouched for so long they were coated with dust, her lungs had the sensation of being filled with something besides air. Her eyes...they were like a faucet that had been left on at a trickle for two weeks straight, and they were so red and swollen that blinking made them burn. And even though she’d done minimal physical activity for the past few weeks—kayaking was it—her body ached as if she’d been struggling against a riptide.
She took another DVD box out and wiped it off with a dust rag. It was one of the Nicholas Sparks movies—Noelle had owned just about all of them and watched them over and over. Rachel had sat through one of them with her sister and had wanted to poke out