A Time for Us - By Amy Knupp Page 0,59

it.

“Rachel, if you haven’t cried until now, you have so much sadness to get out. I know how much I’ve been through since it happened and—”

“Stop it. Cale, just stop,” she said hoarsely. “You can’t begin to understand. It’s not just the wrenching sadness that makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. It’s...” She pulled the pillow up and buried her face in it.

He couldn’t imagine what she was trying to say, but though he wanted to go to her and touch her, reason with her, he sensed that wouldn’t go over well at this particular moment. “What, Rachel? It’s what?”

She lowered the pillow, went to the window and absently turned the stem on the blinds until the slats let in what little bit of clouded-over daylight there was. Shaking her head subtly, slowly, she let the seconds tick by. “Guilt,” she finally choked out. “I have this horrible, awful guilt.”

Cale stood abruptly, because, of all the things he thought she might say, that was absolutely not one of them.

“Why, Rachel? You have nothing to feel guilty for. You weren’t there. You couldn’t have saved her.”

He could just imagine the things that went through her head, back then and now, as someone who was trained to save lives. It was something he’d had to learn to get over when he’d first started going on medical rotations. Being trained to save a life did not equate to being able to save everyone. And Noelle had died alone in her car. Rachel hadn’t ever had the chance. By the time anyone knew Noelle had had an asthma attack, it’d been too late. By hours.

“It was my fault she was by herself,” Rachel said, her voice haunted.

Cale stepped up behind her, stopped six inches away from her. He reached out to touch her shoulder, his hand hovering above it, but she glanced down at it and stepped to the side angrily.

“She ran out of the house because of the argument we had, Cale. Because of...what I told her.” She let out a long, pained groan.

Cale put his hands on her waist again with the intent of pulling her to him.

“Come here, Rachel. You don’t have to feel this way by yourself.”

The pillow dropped to the floor but Rachel didn’t move. But she didn’t fight him, either, so he moved to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Her obvious pain was killing him. He knew he couldn’t take it away, but he had to do whatever he could to lessen it. Give her some measure of comfort. It wasn’t just that he felt he had to. He wanted to. Like he hadn’t wanted anything for a very long time.

* * *

RACHEL COULDN’T UTTER the rest out loud. She just wanted to wilt and become unconscious so she didn’t have to feel anymore.

Cale’s arms around her, supporting her, were such a relief. He was so strong compared to her. Physically and emotionally. The fact that he was still standing here after she’d cried all over him and made a blubbering fool of herself spoke volumes about the man he was. Not that she had experience with many different men, but she was pretty sure her scene would have sent the vast majority of them running.

But then, she wasn’t at all surprised.

Weakly, she turned around and ducked into his chest, drinking in the security his body and his acceptance afforded her. Her cheek rested on his rigid pectoral muscle as if on a firm pillow. She never wanted to move.

“How are you doing?” he asked a few minutes later in a near whisper. “Any better?”

She didn’t figure she would ever be better. Every inch of her body ached, and she wasn’t sure she would be able to stand much longer if he hadn’t been holding her up. Her head throbbed, and her heart literally hurt. “I’m so tired, Cale.”

“I know. Come here.”

Before she could react, he bent and picked her up, sliding one arm beneath her knees and the other one around her shoulders.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Rachel threw her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, knowing in some tired part of her mind that she should protest but...bed sounded like a gargantuan relief. She only wanted to sleep. For days.

She closed her eyes, oblivious to everything except how heavy her lids were. Her body shifted slightly with every step Cale took. When he lowered her, she blinked open her eyes and saw he