A Time for Us - By Amy Knupp Page 0,33
him. She may have initiated it, but he’d done plenty to keep it going. Had wanted to keep it going until the inevitable comparisons had filled his mind.
It was wrong and, to use Rachel’s word, twisted. Kissing sisters was bad enough. Not his style at all. Twins? Yeah, that was tacky as hell. Moving on to the second one because the first one had died? People would have a goddamn field day with that. With good reason.
Had he just been into it because she looked so much like Noelle? The sisters were so opposite, personality-wise, and they had their differences physically, as well, though they were subtle and probably unnoticeable to the casual observer. Cale had always been able to tell them apart easily, but was it their similarities that had drawn him in last night? Was he sick enough in the head that he was searching for Noelle in Rachel?
As bad as that would be, the truth was even less acceptable. He’d known damn well whom he was locking lips with.
He liked Rachel. He had ever since the night he’d met her. The social insecurities that she’d been so open about with him since their very first conversation gave her an honest vulnerability that was impossible not to like. He admired her dedication to her career, respected the way she was so purpose-driven in everything.
And then there was the side of her that was drowning from the death of her twin sister.
Cale was beginning to suspect she hadn’t yet gotten through the grieving process that counselors were so damn gung-ho about. Since she’d been back on the island, the two of them had had multiple discussions about Noelle, tough ones filled with memories that hurt like a bitch for both of them, and yet...he’d never seen her shed a tear. She had a knack for changing the subject before talk or memories could go too deep. He wasn’t an expert on grief, but he’d done enough reading to know there were steps, lots of them, all of them a gigantic barrel of suck, and he’d been through them. Denial. Anger. Sadness so deep there’d been days he’d struggled to get out of bed to pee. Other steps he couldn’t recall but he’d bet money that Rachel hadn’t been through them. Hadn’t let herself really feel any of the emotions that were supposedly so damn normal and were said to be the key to healing. She didn’t stop working long enough to. And while his eyes tended to cross at the mention of psychobabble crap, he didn’t doubt there was something to working through the stages of grief in order to move on with one’s life.
Rachel was definitely still struggling hard with her sister’s death—there was no question about it. She was a bundle of contradictions. She didn’t want to talk about her twin in any detail, and yet she’d dared to take a couple of baby steps on her own—like opening up the bedroom door and looking inside. Volunteering for the fundraising group. Most people probably thought very little about it, but Cale knew how damn hard every single thing was—because he’d lived it. He’d had to do it, too.
She didn’t have many friends, and it was obvious to him she could use one. The kiss on the beach—that was just a moment that had spiraled out of control. A little bit of bad judgment. They’d both been wrapped up in the discussion about Noelle and their emotions had taken a wrong turn, convinced them temporarily that there was something there when there really wasn’t. It was a mistake that had caught him off guard. It wouldn’t happen again. He wouldn’t be surprised by a false sense of attraction, and he wouldn’t give in if Rachel was. It was all totally controllable.
With that realization, he relaxed a bit, turned on his side and stopped staring toward the ceiling he couldn’t actually see in the darkness.
Cale needed to make sure Rachel knew he’d been upset with himself last night, not her. That he liked her and respected her, that they should still go on platonic ice cream dates. There was no reason to let one crazy mistake screw things up between them. It would have meant a lot to Noelle to know that he and Rachel could get to know each other better. From what he could tell, Rachel needed someone, and he was the best person to step in and be there for her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
RACHEL SHOULD HAVE followed her