A Time for Us - By Amy Knupp Page 0,25
She’d changed into jeans that hit just below her knees and a faded, black University of Iowa med school T-shirt. It appeared that she’d brushed her hair, but her cheeks and nose still had that pink afterglow from the sun.
“You came out of Sawyer’s room,” Cale said, approaching her.
“Yep.”
“Is that your room now?”
“It’s the room I’m using.”
Sawyer had said she was an expert at avoidance. Cale could guess why she wasn’t using the room she’d shared with her sister, but he wondered how long this family could go on just stepping around the fact that Noelle was no longer with them. Rachel obviously wasn’t up for a discussion about it now, though, judging by the stiffness of her shoulders and forced concentration on her food. He saw her sneak a sideways look at him when he settled against the counter a couple of feet away.
After she finished the bite in her mouth, she spoke. “You never said why you’re here, but I’m guessing it’s not to watch me eat some really freaking good quiche.”
He held back a smile at her veiled defensiveness. “I wanted to apologize for Mariah being so...overzealous the other day at the meeting.”
“Overzealous?”
“With her grand ideas and enthusiasm.”
She frowned and finished another bite. “You came all the way over here for that?”
“‘All the way’ being a mile and a half or so, yes, I did. And to make sure you don’t feel pressured to speak at the benefit.”
Her lids lowered for a moment, just long enough that he noticed, and then she set aside her half-eaten quiche.
“It’s okay. I can’t blame her for trying. Objectively, I can see how it would seem like a cool thing to do.”
He could practically see her swallowing back...emotion? Anger? Grief? It was gone too quickly for him to tell.
“Rachel—”
“What?” she snapped.
“Pretend she never mentioned it. The concert will be successful without you giving a speech.” He looked at her as she stared at the floor, and an urge came over him to brush her hair back from her face, to hug her. Reassure her. He ignored the urge.
“There’s no way I could keep my composure....”
“I understand,” he said gently. He could tell she was beating herself up for something he never would have asked her in the first place had it been up to him. Not this early, anyway.
“I wish I could manage,” Rachel said, crossing her arms and still staring downward. “For Noelle. If our places were reversed...”
The regret in her voice was real, making her sound younger than she was. She seemed so alone at that moment, and again, Cale considered pulling her into his arms and trying to make all the pain go away—for both of them. He settled for brushing against her arm and covering her fingers with his hand. “Don’t. It’s okay.”
She met his eyes. Looked as if she were about to say something and then swallowed and shook her head. “Never mind.” It was clear that she was fighting to keep her composure.
“Hey, Rach,” he said, turning to face her. “I know we don’t know each other that well when you get down to it, but what I don’t understand is why you shut me out. Why we can’t, I don’t know, be there for each other. Be friends or something.” He nudged under her chin with his knuckle, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I lost her, too,” he whispered.
She stared into his eyes with her turquoise ones for maybe three full seconds and then lowered her lids again. Clenched her jaw tightly in a battle against, he would bet, losing it completely.
Because he could feel the lump in his own throat swelling, he ignored all the arguments in his head, pulled her close without another word and wrapped his arms tightly around her, unsure whom he was trying harder to comfort—her or himself.
God, moments like this still knocked him on his ass out of nowhere. He ignored the dampness of his eyes and fought to get through the next minute or two. He breathed in Rachel’s scent of coconut and soap. Registered every one of her breaths, as her rib cage expanded repeatedly against his arms and chest. And when she raised her arms and wound them around his middle, he put all his awareness into the feel of her touch on his back.
Minutes ticked by and Cale gradually leveled out, contented himself with the woman in his arms who was very much alive, instead of haunting himself with her sister...who wasn’t.
As his