the meringue toast just a little too long, but other than that, it looked good.
Li lit up when he saw me at the door and said to Jennifer, “See? You break the lucky wishbone, and your wish does come true!”
He confided to me that he’d already stuffed himself at his family’s Thanksgiving dinner but that he’d saved his dessert stomach for my pie—and was true to his word. Li ate half of my pie in one sitting.
Jennifer also had made a pumpkin pie, a marionberry pie, and a cheesecake. I took a little sample from each and was in heaven. Li groaned, complaining that his stomach was so full he’d have to sleep over. Jennifer’s kids jumped up and down at the thought, accidentally dislodging their pilgrim hats, but settled down immediately when she popped in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving DVD.
I was helping Jennifer clean up in the kitchen when she asked, “So? How’s it going with,” she whispered knowingly, “Li?”
“Umm, it’s going fine.”
“Are you guys, you know, together?”
“It’s hard to say. I think it’s too early in our relationship to call us together.”
She shrunk a little and frowned at the dishwater. “Is it still that other one, the one you never talk about, who’s holding you back?”
I paused with my damp towel in mid-swipe of her nice turkey platter.
“I’m sorry if I was rude. Honestly, it’s just hard to talk about him. But what do you want to know?”
She picked up another plate, washed it, and dipped it in the rinse water. “Well, who is he? Where is he? Why aren’t you together?”
“Well, he’s in India. And we aren’t together because . . .” I whispered, “Because . . . I left him.”
“Was he mean to you?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. He was . . . perfect.”
“So he didn’t want you to leave?”
“No.”
“Didn’t he want to come with you?”
The corner of my mouth quirked up in a small smile. “I had to beg him to stay behind.”
“Then I don’t understand. Why did you leave him?”
“He was too . . . I was too . . .” I sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Did you love him?”
I set down the platter that I’d been wiping dry for five minutes and twisted the towel in my hands. Quietly, I answered, “Yes.”
“And now?”
“And now . . . when I’m alone . . . I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.”
She nodded and washed a few more dishes. The silverware clinked softly in the bubbly water. Angling her head slightly, she asked, “What’s his name?”
I stared dully at the kitchen window. It was dark outside, and I could see myself reflected with my slumped shoulders and dead eyes.
“Ren. His name is Ren.”
Saying his name bruised my already broken heart. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and looked up at the window again, just in time to see Li in the reflection standing behind me. He turned and walked out of the room, but not before I saw his expression. I’d hurt his feelings.
Jennifer reached over and squeezed my arm. “Go talk to him. It’s better to discuss things quickly. Otherwise, mountains are made of molehills.”
This situation already felt like a mountain to me, but she was right. I needed to talk to Li.
He had left the house already. As I gathered up my things and said thanks, Jennifer strolled out of the kitchen and waved me on.
I headed out the door and found him leaning up against his car with his arms folded across his chest. “Li?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
He sighed deeply. “It’s okay. You warned me before we started this that it was going to be hard. I guess I only have one question.”
“Okay.”
He turned to face me and looked deeply into my eyes. “Are you still in love with him?”
“I . . . I think so.”
He visibly deflated.
“But, Li, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone. He’s on another continent. If he wanted to be with me that badly, he could be, and he’s not. He’s not here. He hasn’t even called me, in fact. I just need . . . time. A little bit more time to . . . to put aside these feelings. I want to be able to.” I reached out and took his hand. “It’s not fair to you, I know. You deserve to date someone who doesn’t have this kind of baggage.”
“Kelsey, everyone has baggage of some kind.” He kicked the tire of his car. “I like you and I want you to like me.