Ren. Ren would have you. And I’d get what I deserved.”
“Kishan!”
“I’m serious. Do you think a day goes by that I don’t hate myself for what I’ve done? For what I feel?”
I winced.
“You think I wanted to fall for you? I stayed away from you! I gave him the chance to be with you! But there’s another part of me that asks what if ? What if you’re not supposed to be with Ren? What if you were supposed to be the answer to my prayers? Not his!”
He watched me from the other side of the pool. Even from this far away, I could see that he was hurting.
“Kishan, I—”
“And before you say anything, I want to warn you that I don’t want your sympathy. It would be better if you said nothing than if you tried to tell me you didn’t like it or that you feel only friendship for me.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Good. Then are you admitting that you did like it? That there is chemistry between us? That you are attracted to me?”
“Do you need me to admit it?”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Yes. I think I do.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Fine! I admit it. I liked it. We have chemistry. Yes! I’m attracted to you. It was nice. In fact, it was so nice that it actually made me forget Ren for all of about five seconds. Are you happy now?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“I can see that.” He assessed me from across the pool. “So all I got was five seconds, huh?”
“Honestly, it was probably more like thirty.”
He grunted. His arms were still crossed over his chest, but he wore a very self-satisfied-male type of grin now.
I sighed unhappily. “Kishan, I—”
He interrupted, “Do you remember when we escaped the House of Sirens in Shangri-la?”
“Yes.”
“And you said you escaped because you thought of Ren?”
I nodded.
“Well, I escaped because I thought of you. You filled my thoughts, and the spell of the sirens went away. Don’t you think that means anything? Couldn’t it mean that maybe we were meant to be together? The truth is, Kells, I’ve thought about you for a long time. Since I first met you, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.”
A tear fell down my cheek, and I said softly, “I’m sorry for all that’s happened. I’m sorry for everything that you’ve been through. And I’m especially sorry for any suffering I’m causing you. I don’t know what to say, Kishan. You’re a wonderful guy. Too wonderful. If the situation were different, I’d probably still be over there kissing you.”
When I put my head in my hands, he ducked under the water and swam over to me. I heard him stand and looked up at his face. Water sluiced off his bronze torso. He really was a gorgeous man. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like him.
He held out a hand. “Then come back over here and kiss me.”
I shook my head. “I’m not . . . I can’t,” I sighed sadly. “Look, all I know is, I love him. And being with you, as tempting as you are, is not something I can do. I can’t turn away from him. Please don’t ask me to.”
I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around my body. I heard a splash and felt his nearness as he also dried off.
Kishan turned me to face him, willing me to meet his eyes. “You need to know that this is not about me competing with him. It’s not about some hidden agenda. It’s not a crush.” He brushed his thumbs across my cheeks and cupped the sides of my face. “I love you, Kelsey.”
He took a step closer.
I placed my hand on his warm chest and said, “If you really love me, then don’t kiss me again.” I stood my ground and waited for his reply. It wasn’t easy. I felt like running, escaping to my room, but we needed to settle this between us.
He stood there breathing deeply. He looked down, and I could see flashes of emotion cross his face. Then he raised his eyes to mine. He acquiesced and said, “I won’t promise that I’ll never kiss you again, but I will promise not to kiss you unless I’m sure that you and Ren are through.”
I was about to protest when he continued.
He touched my face lightly. “I’m not the kind of man to bottle