servant helping Lokesh too, and he thought his appearance was distinct enough to track down where the man was from. Mr. Kadam had also planned to discreetly investigate Lokesh’s office in Mumbai.
The air was so muggy outside that we probably could have filled our water bottles just by hanging them out the window. We passed temples with golden cupolas and busy people working in their fields, drove over swollen rivers and through flooded roads, but all I could think about was getting back to Ren. In fact, the only thing that interrupted my thoughts of Ren was Kishan.
Something had changed between us in Shangri-la, and I didn’t quite know what to do about it. Spending all those weeks with Kishan didn’t help. He was moving past flirting and was starting to make serious overtures. I had hoped that he would lose interest.
Originally, I had thought that the more he got to know me, the less he would like me. But I seemed to have the opposite effect on him. I did love him, but not in the same way he felt about me. I’d learned to rely on and trust him. He’d become a good friend, but I was in love with his brother. If I had gotten to know Kishan before Ren, things might have been different. But I hadn’t.
Thoughts kept nagging at me as we drove. Was it just luck that I met Ren first? That we had the opportunity to fall in love? What if Kishan had followed me to America and not Ren? Would I have made a different choice?
The truth was that I didn’t know. Kishan was a very attractive man, both outside and in. There was something about him, something that would make a girl want to wrap her arms around him and keep him forever. He was lonely. He was searching for a home, for someone to love him, like Ren was. He needed someone to take him in and let the wandering, lost tiger rest. I could easily envision that person being me. I could see myself falling in love with him and being happy with him.
But then I thought about Ren who had the same qualities that I loved about Kishan. Ren also needed someone to love him, to quiet the restless tiger. But Ren and I fit together so much more easily, like he was made especially for me. He was everything I could possibly wish for wrapped up in a gorgeous package.
Ren and I had so much in common. I loved the way he called me little nicknames. And how he sang for me and played his guitar. I loved how he got excited about reading Shakespeare and how he liked to watch movies and cheer on the good guys. How he would never cheat, even if it was to win the girl he loved.
If I had never met Ren, if Kishan had been the one in the circus cage, I felt I could be happy with him too. But with Ren loving me and wanting to be with me, I could never be persuaded to look in Kishan’s direction. Ren filled my world even when he wasn’t here.
There were no shades of gray for Ren. He was the white cat and Kishan was the black, literally. The problem was that I just didn’t see Kishan in the same way Ren did. Kishan was a hero too. They’d both been hurt. They’d both suffered. And Kishan really did deserve a happy ending just as much as Ren did.
Behind the wheel, Kishan glanced in the rear-view mirror from time to time, watching me.
I was biting my lip, deep in thought, when he said, “Penny for your thoughts.”
I blushed and replied, “Just thinking about saving Ren.” Then I deliberately turned in my seat and napped.
When the car finally pulled into the driveway, Kishan gently shook me awake. “We’re home, bilauta.”
24
Confessions
I was so happy to be back home I could’ve cried. Kishan carried our bags inside and quickly disappeared. Mr. Kadam also excused himself to check with some of his contacts. Left alone, I decided to take a long, hot shower and do some laundry.
Dressed in pajamas and slippers, I padded into the laundry room and threw in a load. I wasn’t sure what to do with the fairy clothes. I decided to hang them on the veranda overnight, just to see if there were any fairies in the real world. Then I walked through the house to find out what everyone