felt she was cheating on their intense and connective French-kissing, and this feeling turned her on.
I love you, he said, I love this pussy, I love you. I love you, Lina. I love your pussy.
Her ears rang. She couldn’t believe what she’d heard.
He softly asked, then, if she wanted him to come inside her, or where.
Yes, she said, that’d be great, or anywhere, I just want to make you come so much.
He began to come inside her. She felt his whole body plunging itself, discharging its energy. Then she hurriedly said, In my mouth in my mouth!
He said, Hunh-uh, because he couldn’t make it there in time. It was so charming, his boyish faltering. She loved it.
They held each other. Her body was misted in the most glorious sweat. She felt safe. Nothing hurt. After a good long time, he said they should probably relax and eat now.
I am as relaxed as can be right now, Lina said.
Uh-huh, he said, as if it was very true for him as well. He cleaned up in the bathroom. Then Lina went and did the same. She got her pajamas on. She cleared a spot on the couch because his things were strewn all over the place. He cleared it more for them. They sat and ate fries and chicken sandwiches. They didn’t use any condiments. She was still eating when he went and lay in bed. He closed his eyes off and on. She’d look over and he would look back at her now and then. She went to the bathroom and washed her face. In the mirror she smiled at herself. Even the imperfections looked good; she looked like a happy, loved woman. She returned to the bed and checked her phone to make sure the kids were all right.
Suddenly Aidan opened his eyes and really, really looked at her. She felt her instincts take over. She could feel the smile on her face. She cocked her head to one side. She knew she looked cute and sexy at once, and she could feel him seeing her. Truly seeing her.
Finally, for the first time in her life, Lina felt sated enough, cared for enough, to let herself be still. To be present. She got into bed and they slept. She fell asleep easily, painlessly, with his body beside hers.
She woke at 4:15 A.M., dressed, and got ready to go. Before walking out, she sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his arm. Then she bent forward and kissed his forehead. He didn’t wake up and she didn’t need him to.
She started the car in the dark lot, where the air was equally warm and cool. She’d forgotten how beautiful April could be.
It was too early to call anyone, she knew, but she couldn’t keep it in. She needed to let some of the pleasure out before it exploded and killed her.
In the parking lot, with her breath steaming up the car all around her, she called a friend, knowing it would go to voice mail. She didn’t care if the friend would think something was wrong because of the early hour. She knew that people were concerned only about their own lives. She didn’t even care to tell this one friend, in particular; she just needed to say the words out loud.
The voice mail clicked. She barely waited for the beep.
“He said, I love you, I love you! Of course he also said, I love your pussy. But he said it! He told me he loved me!”
Then she put the car in gear and drove all the way home, smiling so much her face hurt.
Maggie
Maggie is twenty years old. It’s been nearly three years since she graduated from high school. But she is still not over Aaron. For one, there have been no others, really, since him. A man like him was a hero, especially when you grow up among boys, with their small principles and their shallow field of vision, who watch porn and debate nothing. She thinks, daily, of Aaron’s body and face and words and the protection she felt in his arms.
Her college days at North Dakota State University—NDSU, home of the Bisons, and the place where Aaron and Marie Knodel met and fell in love—are a dark time. Even her roommate is called Raven.
Maggie is placed on academic probation in the first semester and on academic suspension in the second.
She leaves school and decomposes at the family home for six months. She moves into an