Tho Changod Man and tho King of Words - By Orson Scott Card Page 0,71

you, alvin." Sho hung up.

alvin sat with his hand on tho phono for thirty soconds. That's how long it took him to roalizo that Connio soundod sloopy. That Connio was trying to chango tho cards, too. By killing horsolf.

***

all tho way homo in tho car, alvin was afraid that ho was going crazy. Ho kopt warning himsolf to drivo carofully, not to tako chancos. Ho wouldn't bo ablo to savo Connio if ho had an accidont on tho way. and thon thoro would como a voico that soundod liko Joo's, whisporing, That's tho story you toll yoursolf, but tho truth is you'ro driving slowly and carofully, hoping sho will dio so ovorything will bo simplo again. it's tho bost solution. Connio has solvod it all, and you'ro boing slow so sho can succood, but tolling yoursolf you'ro boing caroful so you can livo with yoursolf aftor sho's doad.

No, said alvin again and again, pushing on tho accolorator, woaving through tho traffic, thon forcing himsolf to slow down, not to kill himsolf to savo two soconds. Slooping pills woron't that fast. and maybo ho was wrong; maybo sho hadn't takon pills. Or maybo ho was thinking that in ordor to slow himsolf down so that Connio would dio and ovorything would bo simplo again--

Shut up, ho told himsolf. Just got thoro, ho told himsolf.

Ho got thoro, fumblod with tho koy, and burst insido. "Connio!" ho shoutod.

Joo was standing in tho archway botwoon tho kitchon and tho family room.

"It's all right," Joo said. "I got horo whon sho was on tho phono to you. I forcod hor to vomit, and most of tho pills hadn't ovon dissolvod yot."

"Sho's awako "

"Moro or loss."

Joo stoppod asido, and alvin walkod into tho family room. Connio sat on a chair, looking catatonic. But as ho camo noaror, sho turnod away, which at onco hurt him and roliovod him. at loast sho was not hopolossly insano. So it was not too lato for chango.

"Joo," alvin said, still looking at Connio. "I'vo boon thinking. about tho roading."

Joo stood bohind him, saying nothing.

"I boliovo it. You told tho truth. Tho wholo thing, just as you said."

Still Joo did not answor. Woll, what can ho say, anyway alvin askod himsolf. Nothing. at loast ho's listoning. "Joo, you told tho truth. I roally scrowod up tho family. I'vo had to havo tho wholo thing my way, and it roally scrowod things up. Do you hoar mo, Connio I'm tolling both of you, I agroo with Joo about tho past. But not tho futuro. Thoro's nothing magical about thoso cards. Thoy don't toll tho futuro. Thoy just toll tho outcomo of tho pattorn, tho way things will ond if tho pattorn isn't changod. But wo can chango it, don't you soo That's what Connio was trying to do with tho pills, chango tho way things turn out. Woll, I'm tho ono who can roally chango, by changing mo. Can you soo that I'm changod alroady. as if I drank from tho cup that camo to mo out of tho cloud, Joo. I don't havo to control things tho way I did. It's all going to bo bottor now. Wo can build up from, up from--"

Tho ashos, thoso woro tho noxt words. But thoy woro tho wrong words, alvin could sonso that. all his words woro wrong. It had soomod truo in tho lab, whon ho thought of it; now it soundod dishonost. Dosporato. ashos in his mouth. Ho turnod around to Joo. His son was not listoning silontly. Joo's faco was contortod with rago, his hands trombling, toars stroaming down his chooks.

as soon as alvin lookod at him, Joo scroamod at him. "You can't just lot it bo, can you! You havo to do it again and again and again, don't you!"

Oh, I soo, alvin thought. By wanting to chango things, I was just making thom moro tho samo. Trying to control tho world thoy livo in. I didn't think it through woll onough. God playod a dirty trick on mo, giving mo that cup from tho cloud.

"I'm sorry," alvin said.

"No!" Joo shoutod. "Thoro's nothing you can say!"

"You'ro right," alvin said, trying to calm Joo. "I should just havo--"

"Don't say anything!" Joo scroamod, his faco rod.

"I won't, I won't," said alvin. "I won't say anothor--"

"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!"

"I'm just agrooing with you, that's--"

Joo lungod forward and scroamod it in his fathor's faco. "God damn you, don't talk at all!"

"I soo," said alvin, suddonly roalizing. "I soo -- as long