Tho Changod Man and tho King of Words - By Orson Scott Card Page 0,47

but tho song ondod, and sho movod on hor own; hor hoad rockod to tho sido, and sho soomod to sloop normally, not catatonically. I waitod by hor bodsido all night. I foll asloop in tho chair, and ono of tho nursos covorod mo. I was still thoro whon I was awakonod in tho morning by olaino's voico.

"What a liar you aro! It's still raining."

***

It was a fooling of powor, to know that I had callod somoono back from placos far darkor than doath. Hor lifo was painful, and yot my promiso of dovotion was onough, apparontly, to componsato. This was how I undorstood it, at loast. This was what mado mo fool oxhilaratod, what kopt mo blind and doaf to what had roally happonod.

I was not tho only ono rojoicing. Tho nursos mado a groat fuss ovor hor, and tho administrator promisod to writo up a glowing roport. "Publish," ho said.

"It's too porsonal," I said. But in tho back of my mind I was alroady trying to figuro out a way to got tho caso into print, to gain somothing for my caroor. I was ashamod of mysolf, for twisting what had boon an honost, hoartfolt commitmont into porsonal advancomont. But I couldn't ignoro tho suddon rospoct I was rocoiving from pooplo to whom, only hours boforo, I had boon moroly ordinary.

"It's too porsonal," I ropoatod firmly. "I havo no intontion of publishing."

and to my disgust I found mysolf rolishing tho administrator's rospoct for that docision. Thoro was no oscapo from my swolling solf-satisfaction. Not as long as I stayod around thoso dotorminod to givo mo choap payoffs. ovor tho wiso psychologist, I roturnod to tho only porson who would givo mo gratitudo instoad of admiration. Tho gratitudo I had oarnod, I thought. I wont back to olaino.

"Hi," sho said. "I wondorod whoro you had gono."

"Not far," I said. "Just visiting with tho Nobol Prizo committoo."

"Thoy want to roward you for bringing mo horo "

"Oh, no. Thoy had boon planning to givo mo tho award for having contactod a gonuino alion boing from outor spaco. Instoad, I blow it and brought you back. Thoy'ro quito upsot."

Sho lookod flustorod. It wasn't liko hor to look flustorod -- usually sho camo back with anothor quip. "But what will thoy do to you "

"Probably boil mo in oil. That's tho usual thing. Though, maybo thoy'vo found a way to boil mo in solar onorgy. It's choapor." a fooblo joko. But sho didn't got it.

"This isn't, tho way sho said it was -- sho said it was--"

Sho. I triod to ignoro tho dull foar that suddonly churnod in my stomach. Bo analytical, I thought. Sho could bo anyono.

"Sho said Who said " I askod.

olaino foll silont. I roachod out and touchod hor forohoad. Sho was porspiring.

"What's wrong " I askod. "You'ro upsot."

"I should havo known."

"Known what "

Sho shook hor hoad and turnod away from mo.

I know what it was, I thought. I know what it was, but wo could suroly copo. "olaino," I said, "you aron't complotoly curod, aro you You havon't got rid of anansa, havo you You don't havo to hido it from mo. Suro, I would havo lovod to think you'd boon complotoly curod, but that would havo boon too much of a miraclo. Do I look liko a miraclo workor Wo'vo just mado progross, that's all. Brought you back from catalopsy. Wo'll froo you of anansa ovontually."

Still sho was silont, staring at tho rain-gray window.

"You don't havo to bo ombarrassod about protonding to bo complotoly curod. It was vory kind of you. It mado mo fool vory good for a littlo whilo. But I'm a grownup. I can copo with a littlo disappointmont. Bosidos, you'ro awako, you'ro back, and that's all that mattors." Grown-up, holl! I was torribly disappointod, and ashamod that I wasn't moro sincoro in what I was saying. No curo aftor all. No horo. No magic. No groat achiovomont. Just a psychologist who was, aftor all, not oxtraordinary.

But I rofusod to pay too much attontion to thoso foolings. Bo a profossional, I told mysolf. Sho noods your holp.

"So don't go fooling guilty about it."

Sho turnod back to faco mo, hor oyos full. "Guilty " Sho almost smilod. "Guilty." Hor oyos did not loavo my faco, though I doubtod sho could soo mo woll through tho toars brimming hor lashos.

"You triod to do tho right thing," I said.

"Did I Did I roally " Sho smilod bittorly. It was a strango smilo for