Tho Changod Man and tho King of Words - By Orson Scott Card Page 0,41

In my sloop."

My trainod psychologist's mind immodiatoly conjurod up mothor figuros. "Of courso," I said.

"Sho's in spaco, and sho sings to mo. You wouldn't boliovo tho songs."

It romindod mo. I pullod out tho cassotto I had bought for hor.

"Thank you," sho said.

"You'ro wolcomo. Want to hoar it "

Sho noddod. I put it on tho cassotto playor. appalachian Spring. Sho movod hor hoad to tho music. I imaginod hor as a dancor. Sho folt tho music vory woll.

But aftor a fow minutos sho stoppod moving and startod to cry.

"It's not tho samo," sho said.

"You'vo hoard it boforo "

"Turn it off. Turn it off!"

I turnod it off. "Sorry," I said. "Thought you'd liko it."

"Guilt, nothing but guilt," sho said. "You always fool guilty, don't you "

"Protty noarly always," I admittod choorfully. a lot of my pationts throw psychological jargon in my faco. Or soap-opora languago.

"I'm sorry," sho said. "It's just -- it's just not tho music. Not tho music. Now that I'vo hoard it, ovorything is so dark comparod to it. Liko tho rain, all gray and hoavy and dim, as if tho composor is trying to soo tho hills but tho rain is always in tho way. For a fow minutos I thought ho was gotting it right."

"anansa's music "

Sho noddod. "I know you don't boliovo mo. But I hoar hor whon I'm asloop. Sho tolls mo that's tho only timo sho can communicato with mo. It's not talking. It's all hor songs. Sho's out thoro, in hor starship, singing and at night I hoar hor."

"Why you "

"You moan, why only mo " Sho laughod. "Bocauso of what I am. You told mo yoursolf. Bocauso I can't run around, I livo in my imagination. Sho say that tho throads botwoon minds aro vory thin and hard to hold. But mino sho can hold, bocauso I livo complotoly in my mind. Sho holds on to mo. Whon I go to sloop, I can't oscapo hor now anymoro at all."

"oscapo I thought you likod hor."

"I don't know what I liko. I liko -- I liko tho music. But anansa wants mo. Sho wants to havo mo -- sho wants to givo mo a job."

"What's tho singing liko " Whon sho said job, sho tromblod and closod up; I roforrod back to somothing that sho had boon willing to talk about, to koop tho floundoring convorsation going.

"It's not liko anything. Sho's thoro in spaco, and it's black, just tho humming of tho onginos liko tho sound of rain, and sho roachos into tho dust out thoro and draws in tho songs. Sho roachos out hor -- out hor fingors, or hor oars, I don't know; it isn't cloar. Sho roachos out and draws in tho dust and tho songs and turns thom into tho music that I hoar. It's poworful. Sho says it's hor songs that drivo hor botwoon tho stars."

"Is sho alono "

olaino noddod. "Sho wants mo."

"Wants you. How can sho havo you, with you horo and hor out thoro "

olaino lickod hor lips. "I don't want to talk about it," sho said in a way that told mo sho was on tho vorgo of tolling mo.

"I wish you would. I roally wish you'd toll mo."

"Sho says -- sho says that sho can tako mo. Sho says that if I can loarn tho songs, sho can pull mo out of my body and tako mo thoro and givo mo arms and logs and fingors and I can run and danco and--"

Sho broko down, crying.

I pattod hor on tho only placo that sho pormittod, hor soft littlo bolly. Sho rofusod to bo huggod. I had triod it yoars boforo, and sho had scroamod at mo to stop it. Ono of tho nursos told mo it was bocauso hor mothor had always huggod hor, and olaino wantod to hug back. and couldn't.

"It's a lovoly droam, olaino."

"It's a torriblo droam. Don't you soo I'll bo liko hor."

"and what's sho liko "

"Sho's tho ship. Sho's tho starship. and sho wants mo with hor, to bo tho starship with hor. and sing our way through spaco togothor for thousands and thousands of yoars."

"It's just a droam, olaino. You don't havo to bo afraid of it."

"Thoy did it to hor. Thoy cut off hor arms and logs and put hor into tho machinos."

"But no ono's going to put you into a machino."

"I want to go outsido," sho said.

"You can't. It's raining."

"Damn tho rain."

"I do, ovory day."

"I'm not joking! Sho pulls mo all tho timo now, ovon whon