a lot of time together. And I know he’s attracted to me sexually—it’s sort of hard to fake that.
Surely we could become something more?
I want him to pick me. For the first time, I want to be that girl jumping up and down yelling pick me, pick me, pick me. I feel almost like Alyssa or one of her friends, on the hunt for a guy to marry to up their status since they’re Unpredictable and can’t make it far in magical society as a result.
But it’s not because of Dmitri’s status or money that I want him. I don’t care about shit like that. And he’s cranky as all get out, but he watched over me when I was in my coma, he stayed with me all summer, he’s helped me when I needed it and protected me this whole time, and I can’t let go of that.
And for all his snippy words, he’s never actually been a jerk. He’s never been cruel or hurtful. I’ve always felt safe with him. Protected.
I wish it was as easy as just asking him to please choose me. But I don’t know how to say that, and I don’t think he’d want to hear it.
“Hey, Sin.” Cam pauses in his perusal of a desk and looks up at me. “Everything okay?”
I’m tempted to ask him if he knows about Dmitri’s, ah, situation. That the guy is promised to some girl to secure a family alliance like we’re back in the Middle Ages or something.
But if Dmitri had told Cam, I know Cam would’ve told me. Asher might have kept his friend’s secret for a little while, out of respect for his privacy, but I’m sure he would’ve told me too as he saw things getting more serious.
And it was getting more serious, at least for me. I may not have meant to, but I’ve been falling for Dmitri right along with the rest of the guys. Asher knows that. He’s a mind reader, so I can’t hide my feelings around him when his cuff is off—or even when it’s on, honestly. He sees right through me.
Which makes me pretty sure neither of the guys knows about Dmitri’s “betrothal”. He would’ve been embarrassed to talk about it, I’m sure. He plays his cards close to his chest.
And I can’t betray his trust by telling them.
“It’s nothing.” I shake my head, trying to summon a carefree smile.
Cam snorts. “C’mon, I might not be a mind reader like certain people I could name—”
Asher gives him a deadpan look.
“—but I know when something’s on your mind,” he finishes. “You get a little line between your eyebrows when you’re lost in thought. What’s up, honestly?”
I might not be able to tell them the full truth, but I can at least admit a little bit of what I’m thinking.
Perching on a desk, I let out a small sigh. “It’s stupid, I know, but Dmitri’s bugging me.”
The two men exchange looks. “Yeah, what was your argument about?” Asher asks carefully. “You looked really upset when I walked in on you guys.”
I grimace. “Yeah, sorry about that. I must’ve made your family wonder…”
“No, no, you were fine. They know Dmitri’s hard to get along with, and it wasn’t like you two were making out or anything.” He gives me a wry, teasing grin before he sobers up again. “What happened?”
“I tried talking to him about it,” Cam says, “but he’s keeping a lid on it. I know it’s not the same as what you’re going through with him, but Dmitri doesn’t always let us in either. It’s fucking frustrating, but it’ll pass, and he’ll talk to you in time. He’s just moody, and I don’t think he’s ever really had friends before, or a real romantic interest, y’know? This is all new to him.”
“It’s not easy,” Asher acknowledges. “But if you’re patient, he’ll come around.”
The thing is, while I appreciate their sympathy—and it’s good to know that I’m not the only person Dmitri tends to shut out—this isn’t just a difference of opinion or a quarrel. This is a big hurdle, and a fundamental… difference in outlook, I guess you could say.
I want to be with him.
There, I’ve said it. I want to be with him, and I thought I kind of was with him, but I never asked for clarification, and I lumped him in with the others when I shouldn’t have, and I was wrong. He doesn’t want me the same way, and even if he did, he’s