care about her or respect her. I might be somewhat dating three men right now—and fuck whatever Dmitri is, my reluctant acquaintance? Who even knows at this point?—but I’ve never done that before, and I’m not a cheater. I don’t collect guys like Pokémon. I’m not just after as many men as I can get, and I would never help someone to betray someone else.
So I take a deep breath, knowing this is probably a mistake but forging ahead anyway, and clear my throat. “Um, Professor?”
Tamlin blinks, her eyes going a bit wide. I think I startled her—she must have been more deep in thought than I’d realized. Crap, am I the only one who thought this was awkward?
“You never call me Professor,” she says, her posture relaxing again. “Not unless you’re sassing me.”
Ah, guilty as charged. “Maybe I wanted to be a little more respectful to the person conducting a weird magic examination on me?”
She doesn’t smile, but she doesn’t look upset, either. Might as well get this over with, I decide.
“Look, um, I wanted to let you know—nothing happened between Roman and me until after you two had broken up. I mean, I didn’t even know he was my professor at first. He wasn’t, actually; I hadn’t even gotten my magic yet when we hooked up. It was at a bar, and then… then I ended up here. But you two had already—I would never—”
“I know,” Tamlin says. She winces, but her tone is tentatively reassuring. “Roman isn’t the type to cheat; he just wouldn’t do something like that, it goes against everything he is. And I’m fine with it. I’m not sure how… others might feel, but you’re both good and responsible people. I don’t judge either of you.”
She might not be judging us, and she might trust us, sure, but I have a feeling it’s not quite true that she’s “fine” with this. I’ve seen too many glimpses of Tamlin looking at Roman to believe her. She might understand in her head that things are over between them, but it doesn’t change the fact that her heart still has feelings for him.
And I can’t help but feel kind of like crap for that. Even though I know it’s not my fault and it’s out of my control.
“I would just like…” Tamlin leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “This isn’t a speech about how Roman is full of darkness and is complicated and you can’t handle him, or anything like that. He’s a perfectly good man, a wonderful man, and I think you two are good for each other. But there is…”
She pauses for a second, tapping her joined hands to her lips. When she looks back up at me, I feel like I’m seeing more of the “real Tamlin” than she normally shows in class. The one I might get to know if we ever went out for a drink or something. The one who’s not that much older than me, and who—despite her put-together facade—doesn’t have her whole entire life figured out.
“There’s what?” I prompt, because she’s got me dying of curiosity and a bit of nerves over here.
A small line appears between her brows. “I’m not sure I should say anything; I don’t want to insert myself into your business. But I feel like I should warn you, because I worry you’ll start to feel the same way I did—left out of something.”
It takes conscious effort to keep my body still as I turn my head slightly to look at her better. The blue-white light bathes her face as she continues.
“Roman is very private about his past. We dated for a year, and I don’t know much about it. I never pried, and it’s not exactly my business, but you want to know those kinds of things about the person you’re dating. It’s natural, you want to know everything about them.”
Yeah, she’s got that right. From the first minute I met Roman, all those months ago back at The Den, I wanted to know more about him. That craving has only increased as things have progressed between us, although like her, I’ve done my best not to pry or push too hard.
She sighs softly. “I never learned his whole history. But I knew enough to know that there was… something. It still pains him, and sometimes it’ll make him retreat into himself or need to spend time alone. And that’s not your fault. I thought it was my fault, that there was